The Final Text Message … (Day 2)

At 4:12 a.m. both of our phones received a text message. It was from TJ! He wrote that they had just boarded their flight to Kuwait, with 13-17 hours of travel time ahead of them. Honestly, I do not envy this part of his trip.  I’ve dealt with a few very long overseas flights and they are not fun, no matter what your destination is, or your reason for going. From my experience I have learned that those long flights can be sheer misery!

Back in December we decided to upgrade our cell phones. I told Joe, my husband, that I didn’t need a fancy phone, but it HAD to have a full keyboard. And our phone plan HAD to have unlimited texting with it. I text all the time - well, okay, an awful lot of the time. I began texting because of TJ. It was the best way to get a hold of him. While he was still home and working security at the local Target store, I would text him. If he was in the middle of watching a suspect, or talking with his boss, or for some other reason just couldn’t respond right then, then he would not text back, and I knew he wasn’t available. We kept this up once he enlisted (after boot camp, of course.) It has just been a fantastic way to touch base and because of our understanding that no response means “I’m busy,” I don’t feel as if I’m interrupting him.

But now … until he returns in six months there is no more texting. He sent his last one this morning and I was asleep when it arrived. And by the time I saw it, his phone had been turned off for the last time until he returns home. THIS LACK OF COMMUNICATION IS GOING TO BE VERY HARD!

Now, I am the ultimate “comfort food” person when I’m down. (DO NOT tell my Weight Watcher leaders).  Needless to say, yesterday and today have not done my waistline any good at all! But oh-h-h, the cheesecake yesterday was so-o-o good! Then Joe and I agreed that we should go to our favorite place for breakfast this morning. As we sat there we wondered, would there be a layover anywhere, and if so, where? Would TJ be able to sleep at all during the flight, or was he too excited? And so the questions went, and, of course, the biggest one that neither of us even voiced audibly was, when will we hear from him next?

I suppose the unknown is the toughest part of letting go as a parent. We spend 18-plus years, or so, pouring into our children’s lives, guiding their steps - even making decisions for them while they are very young. Then, slowly at first, they begin to make their own choices - what they will wear to school, what classes they want to study in high school, etc. All of a sudden, it seems, they are making potentially life-changing decisions, sometimes with very little help from us.

Once again, Joe and I have had to face the truth that just like his older brother, TJ, our second son, is no longer our youngest “child,” but a soon-to-be twenty-four-year-old young adult man! As the saying goes, “the apron strings need to be cut.” This change is part of life. However, sometimes that is easier said than done.

Nevertheless, with both boys gone from home, I am getting used to not always knowing everything that is happening in their lives.  In TJ’s case, I am adjusting to not hearing from him every single day, or even every week! That’s pretty good for me! But, suddenly being thrust back into no possible chance of communication until he is able to write an email or a post on Facebook - and doing so on the military’s schedule … this is really tough!

I was ecstatic when there was a puffy envelope from TJ in the mail today! He had made two braided wristbands, one for each of us. Joe got a black and white one. Mine? Dark navy blue and orange! (Chicago Bears colors). There was a note along with the wristbands. It was written on one of those Certified Return Receipt cards in the box where you’re suppose to put your own address for them to mail it back to you. It was a short note of just three brief phrases. And then it was signed, “Love TJ”. No wonder I’m so proud of this young man! He knew his Mom was going to need something to hang onto while he was gone and had been thinking ahead. In the words of a popular commercial, slightly paraphrased:

Wristbands from TJ

Braiding them – maybe an hour’s wage;

Mailing them – about $1.50;

TJ’s thoughtfulness in doing so – PRICELESS!

So, who needs a text message?

Godspeed, TJ!

Love, your very proud Mom