Deployment ... “D-day." TJ had to report on base at 0300 (3:00 a.m.) this morning. Their flight left Great Falls at 0600 (6:00 a.m.) UGH! Whether it was because he wasn’t allowed to tell us, or because he just didn’t know, we had no idea what flights he was on, where he was connecting, and what time he would actually land in Norfolk, VA. Very frustrating! So, I spent the whole day with my cell phone glued to me waiting for word from him. (I do not do this kind of waiting very well!).
As his "D-day" kept drawing closer and closer, I have been amazed at my own emotions over TJ's deployment. I am more proud of TJ than I can begin to express. And I would not stop him from deploying to Kuwait, Iraq, or Afghanistan. I believe TJ is “called” to serve his country. I told the Lord long ago that I would not stand in the way of what He asked either of the boys to do. So, stopping TJ from enlisting or volunteering for deployment just wasn't an option for me. Nor am I against what we, the United States, are doing in the Middle East, so, all of these things are "okay" with me.
Yet, in a moment I can be in tears realizing how very far away he will be and the reality of what he may truly face. Add to that the fact that during these first few days, and possibly this whole next week, we won’t really be able to get in touch with him at all. He told us to think of it as when he went to BMT (boot camp). That was useful only to the point of helping me understand that I would have to sit and wait for him to contact us, and that is horrible! TJ is thrilled to be going, he is the one experiencing all of this, and he is probably very busy, while Mom gets to sit at home waiting for word, with my list of questions growing … sometimes by the minute. This is the part of “letting go” that is absolutely horrible!!
If that all weren’t hard enough, Saturday night his cell phone will be de-activated. There is no point in paying for cell phone service if there is no coverage. So, we will not be able to just pick up the phone and call or even text him. He will still have access to email and we may possibly be able to talk via Skype, but all of that will be based on his availability to internet access and simply having the time. Because this is all new to him, he has no idea when things will take on a more “normal” schedule! So, neither do I, and that just adds one more thing that I must wait on.
Many years ago a rental car company ran a series of ads that were built around the slogan “I hate to wait!” I have often felt that I have done more than my share of waiting and I should not have to wait on things any longer… especially hearing if my son makes it to Kuwait safely!
This leads me to explain something that military parents learn very early on ... parents are very "invisible" as far as the military is concerned. This is not like sending your child off to school and the school sends home “permission slips” for you to sign. The military does not coming asking for my permission for anything. Once a son or daughter enters the military, parents "let go" in a completely different way than parents of children going off to college or even children who just move out into nearby apartments. This is not a negative against the military, it is simply a statement of the differences between civilian life and military life and how it affects the family of those in military service. So, while I desire and want to know when TJ will depart, what flights he will be on, when he will arrive, and exactly when I can expect to hear from him once he does land in Kuwait, those "normal" pieces of information are not necessarily information that I, as a military mom, will be given. And therefore, I once again must wait for that moment when TJ will have time to set up his computer, gain access to the internet, and send us an email that says, "I've landed. Look out bad guys!" (And that is about how he'll say it, and is definitely how he feels about what he is doing in Kuwait!)
So, with this “D-day” coming to a close, my cell phone identified an incoming text message. It was from TJ!! He said he was in Norfolk and was "dead tired." I replied by asking if he would be heading to bed soon. His response was, “We’re doing what the Air Force does best… sitting and waiting.” I just had to laugh!
2 comments:
Sweetheart, you and I have done a lot of "sitting and waiting" over the years, haven't we? In fact, we've been sitting and waiting for the past two-plus years for the Lord to make clear to us His will for our next ministry. Waiting rooms are not necessarily fun. But I know that we have learned new lessons and even experienced some blessings that only come in the waiting rooms of life. Not to mention that verses such as Psalm 31:15 ("My [our] times are in Your hand")have come to mean so much to us. So, in the words of Dr. Ron Allen's literal translation of Psalm 40:1, "Waiting, we waited..."
Haha! Oh Winn, what a blessing it is to me (at least) to read these posts of yours. I think that any parent who's child is thinking of doing this would benefit greatly not only from your experiences, but from your humble and giving heart. We can't give our little ones to God only snatch them back the next day. It has to be whole hearted.
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