Counting Down ... Day 148

Can it already be New Year’s Eve? What happened to 2010? Is it already time to countdown to the dawn of 2011?

Yes, it is time to welcome 2011, and as we do I will be starting another countdown. It is 31 days long and it will mark the end of TJ’s deployment. Just as when he was a boy, I find myself wondering where the time has gone. It seems like it was just yesterday when I began this blog and suddenly I’m ready to start the countdown for his final month in Kuwait.

We spoke with TJ on Christmas day. He talked about so many things. Most of all he talked about his current plans for his military future. About two months ago he had said he just didn’t know which way to go. As he has talked with various commanders there on base, it seems he has found clarity and direction. We are so stinkin’ proud of him and how he does this whenever he faces a major decision.

He continues to love his deployment and I know he would stay if they would let him. They have used TJ and his abilities. They’ve challenged him and he has stepped up to the challenge and thrived in it. For this, he has been coined by four different people, including a General! [Note: To be coined is a tremendous honor for an Airman and done only when a higher ranking officer observes service that is exemplary. For TJ to have received this honor four times over is outstanding!]

Thirty-one more days. I count them down with an excitement, looking forward to his return. For TJ it will be a very bitter-sweet countdown. He loves serving in this way and yet he knows that he must return and start focusing on the plans he has laid out for his future.

What will 2011 bring? No one can answer that with certainty. For this mom, I continue to pray it will bring our son home safely, along with his fellow soldiers who serve to protect our freedoms.  Let the countdown begin! 

Christmas Has Arrived ... Day 141-142

One of my favorite Christmas photos!

The clock has just "struck" midnight in Kuwait. It is Christmas day for TJ.


Merry Christmas, Pal! 


Dad and I love you. We miss you dearly, and we trust you will have a wonderful Christmas day there in the sandbox! 


Ever proud of you, Mom

Christmas in a Flat-Rate Box … Day 139

When the boys were little we never put any presents under the Christmas tree until after they had been put to bed on Christmas Eve. As parents we didn’t want to put the temptation to open their gifts early right out in front of them for even a few days.

And so, once we were assured that TJ and his brother were asleep, we quietly pulled their gifts out from hiding and laid them under the tree. One year their grandparents bought the train that now is a part of our Christmas decorations. Joe and I carefully put it together and placed the other gifts a little off to the side. As we “tested” the train, we hoped that they wouldn’t wake up as it click-clacked around on the track. The following morning we slipped out of bed and down the stairs ahead of the boys. Joe started the train up and then hit the button for its whistle to sound. It was a Hallmark moment if ever there was one! The boys came down the stairs, literally rubbing the sleep from their eyes, to see the Christmas tree lit and all of the presents around it and the train chugging around underneath it all!

I know every parent loves seeing the excitement in their children’s eyes as they see the presents under the Christmas tree for that first time, and I’m no different. I would use as many different colors of wrapping paper to conceal their gifts and loved tying them up with bows. It made everything look more festive and special. I was always amazed at how even the smallest number of gifts seemed to multiply once we put them under the tree.

But this year it is much different. Unlike some military families waiting for their service men and women to return, we won’t put any gifts under the tree to wait until TJ makes it home. Instead we choose to send Christmas to him. We wanted him to have it there on Christmas day.  So, we thought carefully about what was small enough to be brought home in his duffle bag, and we looked for things that he could “consume” before he leaves Kuwait in another month. The final consideration was making everything fit into a flat-rate box from the post office.

TJ's gifts - packaged and ready to go!

When I wrapped his gifts this year I simply used a few rolls of paper that I still had from last year. To make it easier to fit into the box, I didn’t put any bows or ribbon onto any of TJ’s gifts. And, then there was the jigsaw puzzle effort to get everything to fit into the box. I’m still not sure when I learned how to do that but once again, somehow I squeezed everything in and got the box lid to fold down flat! I laid a final piece of wrapping paper over all of the gifts and put one bow on the very top.

All of this took place the very first week of December. Joe took on the task of waiting in line at the post office to mail Christmas to TJ. And, that brings me around to the part about waiting until Christmas morning for the boys to see their gifts. Unfortunately whenever a package is mailed to TJ, we are required to complete a Customs Declaration and Dispatch Note. Each and every item must be listed along with its value. This is then taped to the outside of the shipping box. That was probably the hardest part for me to deal with this year. How could any of it be a surprise for him when he would see all of his gifts listed before he would even open the box?

A few days ago TJ emailed to tell us his box had arrived. He thanked us for everything and said how much he appreciated all of it. That stinker! He didn’t even wait until Christmas morning!

Then yesterday a flat-rate box arrived at our door. It was from TJ! He had sent Christmas to us, just as we had done for him! We had no idea if he’d wrapped the gift(s) that were inside the box. Joe and I pondered if we should open it or just put it under the Christmas tree as it was. And then something caught my eye. It was that crazy Customs Declaration and Dispatch Note! I read, out loud, the list of things our flat-rate box contained and then I reached for the scissors, cut the tape and opened it up!

This year, without waiting for Christmas morning, we’ve exchanged our Christmas gifts to each other through US postal flat-rate boxes. No sleepy-eyed boys coming down from their beds to presents under the tree, not even a lot of fancy wrappings and bows on the gifts. Just two flat-rate boxes crossing the ocean; one going to Kuwait to a soldier far from home, and one making its way home to that soldier’s parents. But within those two boxes more love was exchanged than the largest amount of gifts any Christmas tree ever held beneath its boughs. This year I’ve learned that memories are more precious than ever and Christmas gifts are just as special even if they are concealed within a US postal flat-rate box!

Merry Christmas, TJ! We miss you - and we love you!

Christmas Music … Day 130

There are two things that my family knows very well about me; 1) I love Christmas music, and 2) I am extremely emotional and can become teary-eyed over seemingly nothing. The guys love to tease me about how early in the year I will start listening to my Christmas music. And when the season does get here, they will often say, “do you need some Kleenex, Mom?” when certain Christmas ads come on during a commercial break.

Though I am teased about how early I will start listening to my Christmas music, the love I have for it makes it a very easy and sure gift for anyone wondering what I might like for Christmas. This is exactly what TJ did several years ago when he gave me what was then Josh Groban’s newest album, “Noel”. TJ knew that I like both Josh Groban and Christmas music, so he had a sure thing in that gift, and he hit the mark dead on! I loved the album and played it throughout that day, and the next, and the next and … well, let’s just say it was a gift that has kept on giving many times over!

However, I had to keep my box of Kleenex very close at hand while listening to this album. The third song on the album is “I’ll be Home for Christmas.” It was written by James ‘Kim’ Gannon and was recorded on October 4, 1943 by Bing Crosby. Because the country was in the midst of World War II, the recording rose to number three on the music charts and remained there for eleven consecutive weeks, as it expressed the hearts of so many soldiers and their families. Numerous artists have performed the song since Bing Crosby. But it is the way that Josh Groban has recorded it that has always brought me to tears.

My understanding is that when Josh was working with his recording producer while producing his Christmas album, he asked if it was possible for them to get recordings of actual service men and women sending verbal greetings to their families and then incorporate their greetings into the song.

The song begins with a piano introduction. About two measures into the introduction the voice of Sgt. Patrick Hawkins is heard as he says hello to those back home. His is followed by Specialist Brook Frisk who was serving in Iraq. After their Christmas greetings to their family and friends Josh begins the first verse of the song;

            ‘I am dreaming tonight of a place that I love,

Even more than I usually do.

And although I know it’s a long road back,

I promise you,

I’ll be home for Christmas…’

As the song continues, so do the service men’s and women’s Christmas greetings. At the very end of the song a little girl’s voice gives a message to her daddy. She tells him that they have a special gift for him under their Christmas tree and that it will be waiting for him when he returns home.

The very first time that I listened to this album on that Christmas day several years ago, TJ caught me in the kitchen, wiping my eyes, and he just chuckled. The first time it caught me off-guard, but after that I began doing much better, being able to listen to the song without crying at all! That is, until last year . . .

This is TJ’s fourth Christmas since he enlisted and it is the second one that his service to our country will prevent him from coming home for Christmas. Last year was the first one, and because of that, this song was very difficult for me to get through. However, TJ was state-side and we were able to call him several times throughout the day just to say, ‘hi’. So, even by the time Christmas came, I was doing better with this song.

As TJ serves in Kuwait and his cousin serves in Afghanistan, this song has become “my” song. This is my family singing those lyrics. Both of these young people went to their oversea posts voluntarily, knowing it would take them away from family for Christmas. Beth, our niece, has gone so that others could make it home for Christmas. TJ volunteered because he firmly believes it is necessary for our country’s freedom and for its protection from our newest enemies, the radical terrorist groups.

I am listening to my Christmas music just as much as I have in other years. Yes, it will be a difficult day with TJ in Kuwait, but I know TJ is doing what he believes in and loves so I can stand tall and proud of him. And, as long as I’ve got my box of Kleenex close by - especially while I listen to Josh Groban’s album - I’m enjoying even this very special song. You see, there is a sense in which TJ will be home for Christmas, because he is in our every thought, dream, and prayer.

Merry Christmas, Pal!

We miss you and love you,

Mom and Dad


If you would like to hear Josh Groban's song, "I'll Be Home For Christmas", I encourage you to have your Kleenex ready when you go to the linked site. They have done a fabulous job with a slide show to go along with the song! 

Scrapbooking ... Day 122

I thoroughly enjoy scrapbooking. I did my first scrapbook for some very dear friends in honor of their 50^th wedding anniversary. Upon completion of that book, I was hooked on this new “hobby.”

The following year I captured our oldest son’s birth through high school graduation in my second scrapbook. That scrapbook was followed two years later by one for TJ’s high school graduation. I am thankful to say that both boys are grateful for these books - though I still have them for “safe keeping”.

I believe it was during TJ’s BMT graduation weekend that he asked me if I would make him another scrapbook of his years in the Air Force. It wasn’t that I hadn’t already thought of doing one, but it meant everything to me that he really wanted one. So, if I hadn’t been taking enough pictures during that weekend, his request kept me always looking for “another scrapbook page” opportunity!

During TJ’s first year in the Air Force, I kept busy compiling all sorts of things for this new scrapbook. The schedule from his BMT graduation weekend, the ticket stubs from our flights to and from San Antonio, a pass for coming onto the base during our visit to Malmstrom were among items carefully saved for future pages to capture these events. TJ has assisted in this effort by giving me the letters he received from people during his weeks in BMT, and a pile of letters from a third grade class that made him their pen-pal his first year in the Air Force.

But because I like to use a lot of pictures in my scrapbooks, during his second and third years it became very difficult for me to envision pages that could be done. I would often ask him if he couldn’t PLEASE take more pictures, or have more taken of himself so that I would have something for his scrapbook. Often such requests were received with a hearty sigh, and I could always “see” his eyes roll as he grumbled some excuse about why he didn’t take more pictures.

So, as his Thanksgiving Day began [in Kuwait] I emailed him the following request,

TJ, I have one request ... You will roll your eyes and think this very dumb. But I DON'T care!

PLEASE ...  today is Thanksgiving and a very unique one for you. Please take some pictures of Thanksgiving in Kuwait - military style. I promise you - many years from now, you will thank me, probably on some Thanksgiving Day.  :)

I love you, Pal!  :)

Mom

A few days later about four new pictures appeared on his Facebook page, all of them from Thanksgiving Day! The following day another new picture appeared. In all of these pictures, TJ handed his camera to someone else to take the shot. These pictures not only captured some of the places and things there in Kuwait, but they captured TJ’s smile and the joy that he is experiencing from this deployment.

Though this is not the best example of a typical scrapbook page, the picture to the right is a “page” created in PowerPoint that will be a part of his USAF scrapbook. It is simply titled, “Thanksgiving – Kuwait, 2010”  

It is also a reminder to me to express my gratitude to God that TJ was safe and able to enjoy his Thanksgiving Day with good friends and great food, too!

Thanksgiving Day ... Day 112

Thanksgiving dawned with my mind counting backwards from dinner time, figuring out just when the turkey needed to go in, followed by when to make the potato and bean dishes, etc. Joe had gotten up earlier and made a wonderful breakfast sandwich for me. I love the egg, sausage, cheese sandwiches and this one was made on a homemade biscuit!

As we talked over our plans for the meal and its “timing,” when our friends would arrive, and what all needed to be done, we could not help but wonder, would TJ be able to call home? Both of us had sent him Thanksgiving greetings via email the night before so that when his Thanksgiving Day began our greetings would be waiting for him. We have no idea if this is just another day at work for TJ or if he will be given the day off to celebrate the holiday.

Hanging the flag, Thanksgiving morning, 2010

With breakfast done, I was about to start the next thing on my mental “to-do” list, when I suddenly remembered the flag! Grabbing my coat, I dashed out the door with our American flag. As I neared the poll mount, I allowed the flag to unfurl so that it was waving behind me.

Many may not understand this gesture, but for me, I am not only thankful for my freedom, but thankful for my son, my niece, Beth, (see Cousins … Day 26) and the thousands of others who will not be coming home to Mom’s for dinner today because they are standing guard, defending my freedom. Both TJ and Beth have volunteered for their deployments. Beth left for Afghanistan about two weeks ago. Part of her purpose in going is to relieve others, enabling them to get home for the holidays. I am not just thankful for the sacrifice these two are making, but I am so “stinkin’” proud of them!

Right now, it is time for me to begin the herb-butter rub for our turkey. This year it is just a small three pound turkey breast. TJ may not be sitting at our table today. But, he is not missing! He is very present here at home, always in our hearts, our thoughts, and our prayers.

As I count my blessings today, TJ and his safety for the past 112 days is at the top of my list! 

Facebook ... Day 109

Facebook is a social network service and website that began in February, 2004. It is operated and privately owned by Facebook, Inc, and as of July, 2010, has more than 500 million active users. “Users” of Facebook may create personal profiles, add other users as friends and exchange messages. In January, 2009, one study ranked Facebook as the most used social network by worldwide monthly active users. I am NOT one of them, but both TJ and my husband have their own Facebook pages.

Both of them enjoy connecting [and reconnecting] with people. My husband is now talking to former classmates from his high school days. He hasn’t seen some of them since they graduated more than forty years ago. TJ also keeps up with his friends, his cousins, and his fellow airmen.

A picture TJ posted on his Facebook page from Kuwait.

As I said earlier, I am not on Facebook. I already sit at a computer most of the day at work, and the last thing I want to do when I get home is to sit down at a computer once again. But occasionally, I will sneak into this social network somewhere out there in cyberspace through my husband’s page. I normally do this when he tells me about what somebody else has posted, and I have the desire to see it for myself, or when I want to pull pictures from TJ’s page.

This morning was one of those times. Someone encouraged Facebook users to write thirty things about themselves, post it, and then pass the idea on to thirty other Facebook users. TJ must have decided that he wanted to become one of the links in that chain, so he sat down and cranked out thirty statements about himself. My husband saw it and suggested that I might want to check it out. I began working my way rather quickly through the list, until I came to #25. TJ said, “There is something better then my momma's cooking - my dad’s!  Hee hee”    

Now, I will admit that it has almost become a family joke that I only have about three or four recipes that I’m good with, and after that we go out to eat. To be sure, it is not really that bad, but I am by no means an “Iron Chef!” In fact, TJ is right: His dad can whip up some incredibly awesome dishes when I step out of his way in the kitchen!

I also discovered that as I was reading through TJ’s list, it was as though I was learning things about him through his own eyes. His honesty and transparency, even in creating something like this list, was amazing to me. As I considered some of his observations about himself, I caught myself nodding in agreement and saying to myself, “Yup, that’s TJ alright!” There were also times when I could not help but marvel as I realized he was sharing some of his deepest desires and most private feelings. [For example, I had no idea that he desires to have “an Army of children” someday].

As I quietly and respectfully read his heart, which is really the only way TJ knows to write something like this list, my heart could not help but swell with pride for him. Interestingly, the very first thing he put on his list for others to know about him was, “1. I am severely passionate about loyalty and honesty to my friends.” Nothing could be more accurate about TJ than that statement. He also wrote about his intense passion to serve, “I love the military, but hate my job, only due to the fact that I want to give more.”  

But far more than learning what he desires, or once again seeing how passionate he is about serving in the military, was the immense joy I felt as I read about his faith in the Lord. He wrote three separate statements about his relationship with God:

“I love my life, but had to fight and work to get some of the things I have today; but it was always God that allowed the things to happen the way they did.

“I don’t always do what I should to honor the Lord, but He gives me more grace than I deserve, and always forgives me, His love I will never fully contemplate.

“[I am] saved every day by the grace of God.”

Amen, TJ. Amen.