Integrity, Service, Excellence ... Day 49

TJ’s recruiting officer gave TJ pamphlets to study as his time to enter Basic Military Training (BMT/ boot camp) grew closer. This was to get TJ better prepared for the classroom training he would go through during BMT. The recruiter told TJ two of the most important things he should know were the Air Force mission statement and its values. The mission of the United States Air Force is to fly, fight and win … in air, space and cyberspace.  Its values are: Integrity First / Service before Self / Excellence in All We Do.

TJ is very familiar with the idea of having a mission, or goal, and knows that one’s values provide direction to meet that goal. But we never dreamed that the Air Force’s values would mirror so close to those we had instilled within both of our boys while they were growing up. TJ has been taught from his early grade school days that by staying true to God’s Word he could maintain his integrity in all areas of life. He was taught to always put God first, then others, and lastly, himself. And, we taught him that in everything he did, he was always to do his very best (excellence) because whatever he did, he was to do it for the Lord!

During BMT TJ’s flight had several different instructors (drill sergeants) for the first three weeks. Sgt. de la Costa was finally assigned to his flight for the final four. She stood about 5’2” tall, and if you ever saw her in civilian clothing, you probably would never have guessed that she was a boot camp drill sergeant. As the saying goes, NEVER judge a book by its cover – and never underestimate a drill sergeant based upon her size. She instilled more fear into those recruits than I ever imagined possible! She was also the one who put TJ in charge of cleaning the latrine in their dorm. For four long weeks TJ would stay up after all the others had gone to sleep, cleaning the latrine, polishing every piece of chrome until it looked brand new, wiping down all of the walls, washing every mirror making sure there wasn’t even one spot of even the tiniest size on any of them. He even earned the title “Latrine Queen” from his fellow recruits. He would work for two or more hours each night keeping it spotless – excellence.

At BMT graduation TJ showed us the latrine.
This was just the sink area - there was MUCH more!

It wasn’t until the Sunday afternoon of graduation weekend that TJ finally asked Sgt. de la Costa why she left him with that duty the entire time. This was an assignment that is normally given to the recruit who continually gets in trouble and TJ just couldn’t figure out what he had done to deserve this “penalty” for four weeks. She smiled at him and quietly replied, “Lombardi, I knew you were the only one that I could trust to do the job right and keep it clean.” She knew TJ not only knew the three USAF values, but he fleshed them out in EVERYTHING he did.

This past Sunday, September 19^th, Joe and TJ had a chance to instant message with each other. TJ had finished another tough day at one of the main gates. He said he worked really hard, spending much of the day sweeping and shoveling sand out of the gate guardhouse area. He was working to make the place look good. At one point during his shift he was required to give a “post brief.” He explained to Joe that he had to stand at attention and tell the inspector about his post. His Master Sergeant later told TJ that his post brief was probably the best one that he had ever heard. He went on to tell TJ that he has become known throughout the entire chain of command as one of the most outstanding airmen in the entire squadron, and then he encouraged him to keep up the good work. (The problem is that some of his peers don’t appreciate TJ’s excellence because it “shows them up”).

Joe encouraged TJ to continue doing an excellent job, to remain humble, and respectfully remind others that, along with them, he swore to live by the values of integrity, service, and excellence.

TJ’s reply to Joe was, “Hua!” which stands for “Heard, Understood, and Acknowledged!”

TJ not only has heard, understood, and acknowledged the values of the USAF -, he lives by them every single day!

Of course, I am one Very Proud Mom!

Music, Music, Music ... Day 42

TJ grew up with music. It has always filled our house – as far back as June, 1979, when Joe and I were married (some seven years before the day TJ was born). During his pre-school years I would sing to him as part of our bed-time routine. The songs I sang were mostly simple choruses that I had learned at summer camp when I was just a teenager. They spoke of the saving grace of Jesus Christ and the “light” He places within every believer’s heart. One of TJ’s favorite songs was the theme song from that camp. I was always fascinated that he liked a song that spoke of a place which he had never seen. Even more amazing was that several years later, after one major move across the country from the east coast to the “left” coast, and then a second move half-way back again (to Michigan), TJ was finally able to attend that camp!

Making music TJ style!

When he was about four, TJ took an old cornet that had been given to us, and decided he was going to play it. That was another one of those days when he had gotten a bit too quiet - that is until he figured out how to make some kind of noise on it. So, as any “good” parent would do, we made him take piano lessons for a few years in his early grade school days - which he never enjoyed!

When he was about nine or ten we realized what a nice voice he had and how well he stayed on pitch. At this same time, one of our favorite day-off activities was to drive about an hour and a half to a large Christian bookstore. On one such trip, Joe got TJ the back-up tape for one of his favorite songs and shortly thereafter, TJ sang his first solo for a men’s breakfast. TJ never sang just to sing. He always sang from his heart. Every song he ever chose to perform always meant something special to him.  

On April 20, 1999 two seniors at Columbine High School massacred twelve other students and one teacher before killing themselves. Michael W. Smith wrote and performed the song “This is Your Time” at the funeral of one of these murdered students. That particular incident had a profound impact on TJ and Michael W. Smith’s song, “This Is Your Time” became another one of his favorites. To this day, I cannot listen to that song without seeing in my mind TJ singing it. It was as if every fiber of his being joined him as he sang in memory of the Christian students who lost their lives for their faith in Christ.

As his voice began to change during his teenage years and his love for the drums grew [that is another whole blog for another time], TJ’s desire to sing in public faded. But, he has not lost his love of music – far from it! He has simply found new ways to express himself through music. Another one of those ways has been to create musical video/slide shows. Most of these are tributes to the military and they are extremely moving. I have put one of my favorites below. TJ has used Chris Daughtry's song "Home" to pay tribute to his fellow service men and women who have sacrificed so much to serve our country in the foreign lands of Afghanistan and Iraq and look forward to coming home. Because music is an expression to and from the heart, I encourage you to listen to TJ’s heart.

The Anniversary of 9/11 ... Day 37

Who can forget it? Most of us can still vividly recall where we were and what we were doing when we learned of commercial airliners slamming into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, along with the crash of United Flight 93 that is believed to have been heading for the White House. It is one of those catastrophic events that we Americans will never forget. In recognition of that event, one of the ribbons TJ wears on his dress blues uniform symbolizes the fact that he volunteered to serve his country after 9/11.

I know that I really have never done any tangible thing to pay tribute to those who lost their lives that morning. But once again TJ’s deployment has created within me a new outlook on this anniversary. So, today, I decided to change that and I displayed our flag in memory of those who died, and in honor of those who serve, like TJ, to make sure it never happens again.

I also learned about a coffee company that does something really special for this anniversary, and I thought I’d share it with those of you who are reading my blog. The coffee company is Green Beans Coffee. I had never heard of them before today. But, they must be a pretty awesome company because this is the second year that they have done “A Cup of Joe for a Joe” on the anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks. It’s a very simple but HUGE program. Anybody can go to their website and purchase one or more cups of coffee. Green Beans Company then takes those on-line purchases and sends the coffee to our military personnel overseas and GIVES the coffee to them on behalf of the sender! Pretty cool, I think! The website even gives you an opportunity to write a brief note to whoever receives your cup of coffee. This gives you a way to verbally say, “thank you for serving.”

But it gets even better! The Green Beans Company gives $1 of every cup of Joe purchased this weekend to the group Soldiers’ Angels. This is a non-profit organization that solely works to make sure that no soldier goes unloved. They are constantly sending huge care packages overseas to the various troops. The donation from this weekend’s “Cup of Joe for a Joe” program will be a tremendous help to their efforts to “love” our military!

So, today, on the anniversary of a tragic event, stop and thank the Lord for the freedoms we still enjoy each and every day here in America. I encourage you to hang your flag in memory of those who died, and in honor of those who are serving to protect us and to defend liberty. I would also encourage you to consider buying a service man or woman a cup of coffee this weekend. I know it is just a small act of kindness, but they so deserve it – and you will probably never forget it, too!

  

"Just a Minute" Kid ... Day 34

“Just a minute, Mom.” If I heard it once, I heard it way too much with TJ. And I’m talking about hearing him say it multiple times in just one day!  We’ve joked with TJ that should he die before us we will put on his gravestone, “Here Lies TJ ‘Just-a-Minute’ Lombardi!” It didn’t matter what we asked him to do, or told him he had to do, or even when we summoned him to a meal, the answer always seemed to be the same, “Just a minute.” So, Joe nicknamed him the “just-a-minute kid” one day.

Come to think of it, TJ is such a “just-a-minute” kid that he basically did it to me when he was born. I never had any false labor with James, so we did not even give it a thought that it might possibly happen with the second pregnancy. How well I remember that Sunday morning when I woke up experiencing mild labor pains. Joe and I agreed that I should stay at home to monitor them. The youth pastor’s wife took James to church with her so that I didn’t have to be dealing with him at the same time I was dealing with contractions. I called my parents and they agreed to come right after their church service to get James. But by the time they arrived everything had come to a complete stand-still. We all went out for lunch and decided that they would go ahead and take James home with them, and if nothing happened during the night, then Joe and I would pick him up the following day.

Later that afternoon Joe and I went to visit one of the church members who was hospitalized. On the way home we stopped at a restaurant that was known for its pies, and I had one of those sudden cravings for pumpkin pie with ice cream. This kind of indulgence is a HUGE “no-no” for any woman in labor according to the “rule” that we learned about in our natural child-birth classes: Dairy products eaten in the early stages of labor would cause one to become sick as labor progressed. Therefore, Joe did not want me to eat that slice of pie a la mode. But I insisted, explaining that it had been several hours since the last contraction and all I wanted was my pumpkin pie with ice cream! And I won out!

Joe holding TJ - Sept. 1986

I don’t remember exactly when the contractions started back up that evening, but when they did this time there was no question – this was the real thing! TJ finally made his grand entrance into the world at 11:39 p.m. on Sunday, September 7^th, 1986 - and not a minute sooner than he felt like it.

For twenty years TJ drove us nuts with his “just a minute” response. So, when we went to his Basic Military Training (BMT) graduation we were astonished to see him instantly responding to commands made by his superiors. I’m not sure just how his BMT instructor managed to undo that natural, inborn and deeply ingrained habit of his, but we were amazed to watch this feisty, petite female Staff Sergeant call out his name, and then see him immediately respond with  “Yes, Mam!” Joe even congratulated her on this incredible feat during the dorm open house. She simply smiled, and we wondered: Could it possibly be that because of TJ’s USAF experience, the days of “just a minute” are now over and done with and gone forever?

Listen, I’ll get back to you on that in … just a minute!  

Birthday Wake-up Call ... Day 31

I am like just about every other eight-to-five working person – I LOVE my weekends and the opportunity to leave the alarm clock turned off for those two mornings! Of course the two dogs in our lives don’t understand the concept of “sleeping in” and believe that they must eat at 5:30 a.m. every single morning, weekends included. Therefore, I’m thrilled, thankful, and thoroughly enjoy any Saturday or Sunday morning when they will let me sleep until 6:00 a.m. However, yesterday (Sunday, September 5) I wasn’t as fortunate. As is all too common, they were nudging me to get up around 5:45 a.m. and I was doing my best to ignore them.

That was when the phone rang. These days our phone doesn’t ring much - especially not at 5:45 a.m. on a Sunday morning. But with the phone on Joe’s side of the bed, he had to reach over and answer the call. Once again, I worked hard to ignore the interruption to gratify my desire to sleep just a little big longer. That is, until I heard him respond to the person on the other end of the line with, “Hey, Buddy! How are you?” Needless to say, I was out of bed immediately, and racing down the hall to grab one of the other phones. It was TJ!

It was about 4:00 p.m. in Kuwait and heading into the evening of his day off. (The temperatures there are still in the low 100’s and the twelve-hour shifts are very long. But, TJ is still thoroughly enjoying his time in the “sandbox”). As exhausted as he was after spending another long day in the hot sun, my son was calling to wish me a happy birthday. “I wanted to make sure that I got to talk with you before you left for church,” he explained.

As we talked we learned a little bit more about the daily things of his life in Kuwait. He explained to us the hours of the mess hall and added that they provide small energy drinks 24/7 for free to “the guys.” (The FREE part is the important element of that story. I have no doubt that TJ is taking full advantage of it!)

Having just enjoyed the first Saturday of college football, I just HAD to ask him what was available to him. TJ said that they were showing the Michigan game in the mess hall (on his Sunday), but because he had already checked the final score online, watching the game wasn’t as much fun after-the-fact. They have TVs in various other buildings on the base. One such place is the gym, so he catches various shows that are playing while he is working out. But most of the time he has learned how to get what he wants to see through the internet. He can then watch things in his room where nobody cares if he falls asleep fifteen minutes into the show!

Celebrating together, September 2003

This past Sunday had been his day off, too. He was able to enjoy a little bit more time resting, spent part of it working out at the gym, used some of the day to do some reading, and … he called home to wish me a happy birthday. I am usually no happy camper when my sleep is interrupted, especially on a day when I am able to sleep in just a little bit longer. But … to hear TJ’s voice, to know that he remembered Mom’s birthday, and to have him arrange his schedule on his day off to make sure that he called home when I would be there -  well, I’ll take that wake-up call any and every day of the week!

TJ, you gave me the very best “wake-up” call I’ve ever had! (I just wish I could return the favor to you early tomorrow morning before the sun rises on your 24^th birthday). Happy birthday, Son. I love you!

Silence is Golden. Are you crazy? ... Day 28

Whoever said “silence is golden” was never a parent. Well, at least he or she wasn’t TJ’s parent. Silence with TJ usually indicated that he was into something or up to something.

Perhaps I am a bit biased, but in my opinion, TJ was the ultimate “cute” kid. He had an adorable smile, his eyes were alive with mischief, and he was the personification of “curious.” Therefore, when he did get into something, he would flash that smile, his eyes would sparkle, and it was usually extremely hard to discipline him.

I clearly remember one such afternoon. I had been busy with some project - washing the dishes, preparing supper, vacuuming - for all I remember, when all of a sudden I stopped short to listen and realized the house was way too quiet. At that time we were living in a multi-leveled home. I was on the main level, so I quickly went downstairs and checked the family room. No sign of him there or having been there.  I worked hard to not become panic-stricken as I hurried up the two flights of stairs that it took to reach his bedroom. His bedroom door was right at the top of these stairs. As I came within two steps of the landing I stopped short and stood quietly, peeking into his room. Thankfully he was there, sitting on his knees in the middle of the floor with most of his toys surrounding him. In his hand was the baby powder – or, more accurately, what was left of the baby powder. Each and every toy had been heavily layered with white powder, as well as much of the gray wall-to-wall carpeting in his room.

Silence = Fun with the baby powder!

I quietly backed down the stairs and went to get the camera. I can clearly remember telling myself that someday I would appreciate having a picture of this day at play. So, with camera in hand, I returned to his room and snapped a few pictures. But, this time even TJ must have known his “play” had probably gone too far as he looked up at me with a slight hint of nervousness. If I had known just how hard it really is to wash baby powder off of things and to get it out of gray carpet, my original thought of “get a picture” may not have won out that day.

So, silence has never really been “golden” with TJ. One time it culminated in my discovery of a half-eaten tub of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.” On another occasion it was ice cream for breakfast, and yet another time I caught him sucking his bubble gum-flavored medicine from the bottle. He couldn’t get the child-proof cap off so he had the whole top of the bottle, cap and all, in his mouth. Thankfully these were about the worst “silent” events that I can recall, at least right now.

With TJ out on his own as an independent young man, there is a new type of “silence” - periods of time when we haven’t heard from him. At first, the parental panic would set in on me and I had the need to know where he was and what he was doing. As I’ve said before, the Air Force has now “stepped in” and helped me “let go.” But even more than that, I have been learning to trust TJ. He has proven over and over again that he knows how to make good decisions. He thinks through problems and gets advice from people who have the knowledge that he needs and from those that he trusts. He is not impulsive and, though he may be goofy at times, I do know that he takes his service to our country very seriously.

At the same time, TJ has learned that his Mom needs an email, a text, or even a call every now and then to fill us in on what is happening in his life. Together we have worked through this new phase of life. To be sure, I still struggle when I haven’t heard from him for what seems like very long periods of time, especially with him in “the sandbox” (Kuwait). But I hold on to the trust I have in him and continue to remind myself that silence does not mean there is something wrong …

… But he may be up to something! No, silence will probably never be golden to me!