The Anniversary of 9/11 ... Day 37

Who can forget it? Most of us can still vividly recall where we were and what we were doing when we learned of commercial airliners slamming into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, along with the crash of United Flight 93 that is believed to have been heading for the White House. It is one of those catastrophic events that we Americans will never forget. In recognition of that event, one of the ribbons TJ wears on his dress blues uniform symbolizes the fact that he volunteered to serve his country after 9/11.

I know that I really have never done any tangible thing to pay tribute to those who lost their lives that morning. But once again TJ’s deployment has created within me a new outlook on this anniversary. So, today, I decided to change that and I displayed our flag in memory of those who died, and in honor of those who serve, like TJ, to make sure it never happens again.

I also learned about a coffee company that does something really special for this anniversary, and I thought I’d share it with those of you who are reading my blog. The coffee company is Green Beans Coffee. I had never heard of them before today. But, they must be a pretty awesome company because this is the second year that they have done “A Cup of Joe for a Joe” on the anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks. It’s a very simple but HUGE program. Anybody can go to their website and purchase one or more cups of coffee. Green Beans Company then takes those on-line purchases and sends the coffee to our military personnel overseas and GIVES the coffee to them on behalf of the sender! Pretty cool, I think! The website even gives you an opportunity to write a brief note to whoever receives your cup of coffee. This gives you a way to verbally say, “thank you for serving.”

But it gets even better! The Green Beans Company gives $1 of every cup of Joe purchased this weekend to the group Soldiers’ Angels. This is a non-profit organization that solely works to make sure that no soldier goes unloved. They are constantly sending huge care packages overseas to the various troops. The donation from this weekend’s “Cup of Joe for a Joe” program will be a tremendous help to their efforts to “love” our military!

So, today, on the anniversary of a tragic event, stop and thank the Lord for the freedoms we still enjoy each and every day here in America. I encourage you to hang your flag in memory of those who died, and in honor of those who are serving to protect us and to defend liberty. I would also encourage you to consider buying a service man or woman a cup of coffee this weekend. I know it is just a small act of kindness, but they so deserve it – and you will probably never forget it, too!

  

"Just a Minute" Kid ... Day 34

“Just a minute, Mom.” If I heard it once, I heard it way too much with TJ. And I’m talking about hearing him say it multiple times in just one day!  We’ve joked with TJ that should he die before us we will put on his gravestone, “Here Lies TJ ‘Just-a-Minute’ Lombardi!” It didn’t matter what we asked him to do, or told him he had to do, or even when we summoned him to a meal, the answer always seemed to be the same, “Just a minute.” So, Joe nicknamed him the “just-a-minute kid” one day.

Come to think of it, TJ is such a “just-a-minute” kid that he basically did it to me when he was born. I never had any false labor with James, so we did not even give it a thought that it might possibly happen with the second pregnancy. How well I remember that Sunday morning when I woke up experiencing mild labor pains. Joe and I agreed that I should stay at home to monitor them. The youth pastor’s wife took James to church with her so that I didn’t have to be dealing with him at the same time I was dealing with contractions. I called my parents and they agreed to come right after their church service to get James. But by the time they arrived everything had come to a complete stand-still. We all went out for lunch and decided that they would go ahead and take James home with them, and if nothing happened during the night, then Joe and I would pick him up the following day.

Later that afternoon Joe and I went to visit one of the church members who was hospitalized. On the way home we stopped at a restaurant that was known for its pies, and I had one of those sudden cravings for pumpkin pie with ice cream. This kind of indulgence is a HUGE “no-no” for any woman in labor according to the “rule” that we learned about in our natural child-birth classes: Dairy products eaten in the early stages of labor would cause one to become sick as labor progressed. Therefore, Joe did not want me to eat that slice of pie a la mode. But I insisted, explaining that it had been several hours since the last contraction and all I wanted was my pumpkin pie with ice cream! And I won out!

Joe holding TJ - Sept. 1986

I don’t remember exactly when the contractions started back up that evening, but when they did this time there was no question – this was the real thing! TJ finally made his grand entrance into the world at 11:39 p.m. on Sunday, September 7^th, 1986 - and not a minute sooner than he felt like it.

For twenty years TJ drove us nuts with his “just a minute” response. So, when we went to his Basic Military Training (BMT) graduation we were astonished to see him instantly responding to commands made by his superiors. I’m not sure just how his BMT instructor managed to undo that natural, inborn and deeply ingrained habit of his, but we were amazed to watch this feisty, petite female Staff Sergeant call out his name, and then see him immediately respond with  “Yes, Mam!” Joe even congratulated her on this incredible feat during the dorm open house. She simply smiled, and we wondered: Could it possibly be that because of TJ’s USAF experience, the days of “just a minute” are now over and done with and gone forever?

Listen, I’ll get back to you on that in … just a minute!  

Birthday Wake-up Call ... Day 31

I am like just about every other eight-to-five working person – I LOVE my weekends and the opportunity to leave the alarm clock turned off for those two mornings! Of course the two dogs in our lives don’t understand the concept of “sleeping in” and believe that they must eat at 5:30 a.m. every single morning, weekends included. Therefore, I’m thrilled, thankful, and thoroughly enjoy any Saturday or Sunday morning when they will let me sleep until 6:00 a.m. However, yesterday (Sunday, September 5) I wasn’t as fortunate. As is all too common, they were nudging me to get up around 5:45 a.m. and I was doing my best to ignore them.

That was when the phone rang. These days our phone doesn’t ring much - especially not at 5:45 a.m. on a Sunday morning. But with the phone on Joe’s side of the bed, he had to reach over and answer the call. Once again, I worked hard to ignore the interruption to gratify my desire to sleep just a little big longer. That is, until I heard him respond to the person on the other end of the line with, “Hey, Buddy! How are you?” Needless to say, I was out of bed immediately, and racing down the hall to grab one of the other phones. It was TJ!

It was about 4:00 p.m. in Kuwait and heading into the evening of his day off. (The temperatures there are still in the low 100’s and the twelve-hour shifts are very long. But, TJ is still thoroughly enjoying his time in the “sandbox”). As exhausted as he was after spending another long day in the hot sun, my son was calling to wish me a happy birthday. “I wanted to make sure that I got to talk with you before you left for church,” he explained.

As we talked we learned a little bit more about the daily things of his life in Kuwait. He explained to us the hours of the mess hall and added that they provide small energy drinks 24/7 for free to “the guys.” (The FREE part is the important element of that story. I have no doubt that TJ is taking full advantage of it!)

Having just enjoyed the first Saturday of college football, I just HAD to ask him what was available to him. TJ said that they were showing the Michigan game in the mess hall (on his Sunday), but because he had already checked the final score online, watching the game wasn’t as much fun after-the-fact. They have TVs in various other buildings on the base. One such place is the gym, so he catches various shows that are playing while he is working out. But most of the time he has learned how to get what he wants to see through the internet. He can then watch things in his room where nobody cares if he falls asleep fifteen minutes into the show!

Celebrating together, September 2003

This past Sunday had been his day off, too. He was able to enjoy a little bit more time resting, spent part of it working out at the gym, used some of the day to do some reading, and … he called home to wish me a happy birthday. I am usually no happy camper when my sleep is interrupted, especially on a day when I am able to sleep in just a little bit longer. But … to hear TJ’s voice, to know that he remembered Mom’s birthday, and to have him arrange his schedule on his day off to make sure that he called home when I would be there -  well, I’ll take that wake-up call any and every day of the week!

TJ, you gave me the very best “wake-up” call I’ve ever had! (I just wish I could return the favor to you early tomorrow morning before the sun rises on your 24^th birthday). Happy birthday, Son. I love you!

Silence is Golden. Are you crazy? ... Day 28

Whoever said “silence is golden” was never a parent. Well, at least he or she wasn’t TJ’s parent. Silence with TJ usually indicated that he was into something or up to something.

Perhaps I am a bit biased, but in my opinion, TJ was the ultimate “cute” kid. He had an adorable smile, his eyes were alive with mischief, and he was the personification of “curious.” Therefore, when he did get into something, he would flash that smile, his eyes would sparkle, and it was usually extremely hard to discipline him.

I clearly remember one such afternoon. I had been busy with some project - washing the dishes, preparing supper, vacuuming - for all I remember, when all of a sudden I stopped short to listen and realized the house was way too quiet. At that time we were living in a multi-leveled home. I was on the main level, so I quickly went downstairs and checked the family room. No sign of him there or having been there.  I worked hard to not become panic-stricken as I hurried up the two flights of stairs that it took to reach his bedroom. His bedroom door was right at the top of these stairs. As I came within two steps of the landing I stopped short and stood quietly, peeking into his room. Thankfully he was there, sitting on his knees in the middle of the floor with most of his toys surrounding him. In his hand was the baby powder – or, more accurately, what was left of the baby powder. Each and every toy had been heavily layered with white powder, as well as much of the gray wall-to-wall carpeting in his room.

Silence = Fun with the baby powder!

I quietly backed down the stairs and went to get the camera. I can clearly remember telling myself that someday I would appreciate having a picture of this day at play. So, with camera in hand, I returned to his room and snapped a few pictures. But, this time even TJ must have known his “play” had probably gone too far as he looked up at me with a slight hint of nervousness. If I had known just how hard it really is to wash baby powder off of things and to get it out of gray carpet, my original thought of “get a picture” may not have won out that day.

So, silence has never really been “golden” with TJ. One time it culminated in my discovery of a half-eaten tub of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.” On another occasion it was ice cream for breakfast, and yet another time I caught him sucking his bubble gum-flavored medicine from the bottle. He couldn’t get the child-proof cap off so he had the whole top of the bottle, cap and all, in his mouth. Thankfully these were about the worst “silent” events that I can recall, at least right now.

With TJ out on his own as an independent young man, there is a new type of “silence” - periods of time when we haven’t heard from him. At first, the parental panic would set in on me and I had the need to know where he was and what he was doing. As I’ve said before, the Air Force has now “stepped in” and helped me “let go.” But even more than that, I have been learning to trust TJ. He has proven over and over again that he knows how to make good decisions. He thinks through problems and gets advice from people who have the knowledge that he needs and from those that he trusts. He is not impulsive and, though he may be goofy at times, I do know that he takes his service to our country very seriously.

At the same time, TJ has learned that his Mom needs an email, a text, or even a call every now and then to fill us in on what is happening in his life. Together we have worked through this new phase of life. To be sure, I still struggle when I haven’t heard from him for what seems like very long periods of time, especially with him in “the sandbox” (Kuwait). But I hold on to the trust I have in him and continue to remind myself that silence does not mean there is something wrong …

… But he may be up to something! No, silence will probably never be golden to me! 

Cousins ... Day 26

TJ has thirty-six cousins. There are eight cousins on Joe’s side and twenty-nine from my side. The unfortunate thing is that he has been unable to know all of them. Our families are spread across the entire United States and times together have been very far and few between.

However, during the years we lived in California, Joe’s sister’s family lived about two hours south of us and our families were able to get together at various times. As children, there were times that their ages got in the way and the older ones didn’t want to play with the younger ones. As they began to enter their early teen years, gender seemed to interfere more and made the visits not as much fun as we, the parents, always had hoped they would be.

All too soon, we moved and were too far away for visits. Therefore, three years ago when we had the opportunity to return to California for the Christmas holiday, TJ couldn’t stand the idea of not being able to see the cousins he hadn’t been with in over eight years.

These little children were now all young adults. Age didn’t matter like it had when they were little, and their maturity melted away any gender stigma. They were cousins who wanted to be together, to talk, to be silly, and to simply enjoy each other. And they did all of those things!

However, two cousins were missing from this reunion: Our oldest son was not there, and the third child of their family was in basic military training at Lackland Air Force Base. On Christmas day, Beth was given the use of her cell phone and called home several different times throughout the day. Her sisters would squeal with delight whenever the phone rang to see who would get to talk with Beth first. But, when she asked to talk to TJ they were pained to have to turn the phone over to him. These two now had a common bond that went much deeper than just being cousins. They were both Airmen.

TJ and Beth at her BMT Graduation

It was about a month later when TJ reunited with Beth again, this time at Lackland AFB for her graduation from basic military training. Along with Joe’s sister and brother-in-law, they all watched her graduate with honors just as TJ had done almost eighteen months earlier.

These two cousins have developed a very deep love for each other. TJ sees Beth more as his sister and is extremely protective of her. She is currently stationed at a base in the Las Vegas, Nevada area. Therefore, while TJ was there for his “sandbox training” they were constantly trying to work out a time when they could get together. I believe they had three different times all worked out, only to have them fall through because TJ’s schedule would suddenly be changed.

They finally managed to get together on TJ’s final day there. Beth was able to meet him at the airport before he flew back to Montana. They got about two hours together and loved every minute of it. I don’t even know what they talked about. I just know they loved getting together.

Beth has volunteered to deploy to Afghanistan for four months so that others can come home for the holidays. The two are hoping that she will be sent through Kuwait on her way there and that somehow they will be able to see each other. TJ has told me that he believes it will be a pretty remote possibility for him to get to see her, if she even goes through Kuwait. But they continue to hope.

Beth and TJ - July, 2010

Some families are able to remain close in geographical area and close through their times when they get together. This was not possible for our families. So, we are thankful for the times that we’ve been able to be with family. As our boys have grown into young men, I am even more thankful for the relationships that both of them have with the cousins they do know. And, we are very proud of TJ and Beth, two cousins who love the Lord, love each other, and love their country! 

Supporting Our Troops … Day 21

Yesterday we were walking through the Denver International Airport to our departure gate, when an announcement came over the public address system. Admittedly, I have learned to block most of these out because they become annoying as the monotone voice reminds me for the seemingly millionth time to report an unattended bag. But this particular one arrested my attention. It started off something like this, “We would like to encourage any of our military service personnel to visit the USO...” These days I am on a “high alert” status for anything that says “military, Air Force, Kuwait,” etc. Therefore, when I heard the word “military” the announcer had my attention.

I have been in airports across this country - and in a few foreign countries as well - since my high school years. I’m sure that there have been many times that I have passed signs for the USO, and probably even heard similar messages for them, but just never really paid attention. But, with TJ now serving in the USAF, “it is a whole new ballgame!”

TJ has done a lot of traveling since he enlisted in the USAF, and he has had the opportunity to spend time in several different airports during the past three years. Whenever his layovers are long enough, he finds the USO room in the airport and enjoys a quiet place to rest. On one of his more recent trips, he had a friend drop him off at the airport the night before his early morning flight. He headed straight to the USO room, grabbed a big over-stuffed recliner, and called the local pizzeria to order his dinner. Believe it or not, they delivered it to him! The volunteers in this USO room didn’t spend the night, but graciously allowed him to sleep there. At some point during the night one of the airport cleaning crew came through to check on him and TJ offered the man part of his pizza. TJ really appreciates these rooms and is always sure to thank the volunteers for helping him.

The USO was started by President Franklin D. Roosevelt in February of 1941. It stands for United Services Organizations and it remains committed to boosting the morale of service members as well as serving as the link between them and the American people. Most of us baby boomers (and older) know them for the celebrity shows of the World War II, Korean and Vietnam War eras. But, the USO and several other non-profit groups continue to work tirelessly to encourage, support, and meet the needs of our military service personnel. I am ashamed to admit that it took TJ’s willingness to deploy that caused me to learn about these groups.

Actually, the USO does so much more than just organizing those celebrity shows for the troops overseas! They have their rooms at airports across the world, they put together care packages, they have programs for the families of our military, and their list goes on.

Another group that I’ve just learned about and am hoping to become more involved with is called Soldiers’ Angels. Their mission statement simply is “May No Soldier Go Unloved.” They encourage Americans to “adopt” a service man or woman. They have several different programs through which individual and/or groups can become involved for the purpose of ensuring that members of our military know that they are appreciated and that their service is not in vain.

As I was reading some of the information on their website, they said that many in the military don’t have family who remember them while they are far away, even at Christmas! I can only believe this because we saw many young people at TJ’s basic training graduation who had nobody there to celebrate their accomplishment with them. I couldn’t believe it, yet there they stood, in small groups of two or three, or just off by themselves and there was nobody there to congratulate them… Nobody.

There is also another group called The Fisher House Foundation. The Fisher House program is a unique private-public partnership that supports America's military in their time of need. There is at least one Fisher House at every major military medical center to assist families in need and to ensure that they are provided with the comforts of home in a supportive environment. Annually, the Fisher House program serves more than 11,000 families, and has made available nearly three million days of lodging to family members since the program originated in 1990. By law, there is no charge for any family to stay at a Fisher House operated by the Department of Veterans Affairs, and the Fisher House Foundation uses donations to reimburse the individual Fisher Houses operated by the Army, Navy, and Air Force. 

For those of you who like country music, the new “My Country, Smash Hits” CD has just been released. Part of the proceeds of this album will benefit the Fisher House Foundation. At various retail outlets, drop boxes will be set up for customers who want to buy the album for someone serving in the military. People who do this buy the album and put it in the box. Later the retailer seals the box and sends it to the foundation that will get them to charities to give out to the soldiers. I'd encourage you to consider buying one of these CDs. You get to enjoy the music and you'll be supporting a terrific group who help our military families.

This year TJ will celebrate his 24^th birthday in Kuwait, he will have Thanksgiving dinner in Kuwait, and he will celebrate Christ’s birth in Kuwait. But, for each of these special events, we will remember him and be mailing things to him. This is going to be a tough year as we come to each of these special days. But, to realize that some of TJ’s fellow soldiers don’t have anybody “back home” who will mail a birthday card, or send a small care package seems unbelievable. Yet, it is true and it will happen.

Before TJ enlisted, he never walked past military personnel without stopping and thanking them for their service. I learned a lot just from watching him do this and now I do it, too. So, the next time you see a military personnel, stop them and thank them for their service. You don’t need to do any more than to say, “Excuse me, I’d like to say thank you for serving our country. I appreciate the sacrifice you’re making for us.” I’ve yet to have one get upset for being interrupted during their meal, or as they are on their way to baggage claim, or wherever it is that they are going. What I can tell you is that you will make their day! And it will probably make yours, too!

If you’d like more information on the USO, Soldiers’ Angels, or The Fisher House Foundation you can find them by clicking on the links below:

USO 

Soldiers’ Angels 

The Fisher House Foundation

A Man's Best Friend ... (Day 17)

Joe and I have been married thirty-one years. Joe got our first family dog about six months before we were married, and I can probably count the number of years we’ve been without a dog since then on one hand. Once we moved to California the question wasn’t “did we have a dog?”, but rather, “how many dogs did we have?” People were forever dropping off their unwanted dogs in our town. The joke among our friends was that there was a billboard out on the I-10 freeway that had our address on it and said, “Drop all unwanted dogs off here!” We have lost count of how many strays we took in during those eight years, but there were many of them – and, as a result, we became very good friends with our veterinarian!

As we went from just one dog to several (at the same time), it seemed that each of the boys always had “their” dog. We never intended for it to be that way, but it just seemed to happen. To their credit, both of the boys are extremely good with dogs and expect them to be very well behaved and trained. The problem is that Joe and I don’t always expect the same of the dogs and end up spoiling them just a bit.

During the past ten years we have enjoyed having just our Labradors (as opposed to every other mutt that turns its big ole’ eyes up at us looking for some extra love).  We had three labs when we moved to Michigan; Shadow, a black lab mix; Max, a big ole’ yellow lab; and Lucy, a chocolate lab who always wanted to have you throw the ball for her!  A month before we moved to Oregon, Shadow was diagnosed with bone cancer and never made the move.

We enjoyed, loved, and doted on Max and Lucy for about two years, and then we were given the opportunity to have a six week old black lab. She was the runt of the litter and just needed a good home. I gave in with much reluctance, but Joe and TJ were thrilled and absolutely love our Sadie Dakota. Joe insisted she be named Sadie because it means “Princess,” and a princess this dog IS!

If Sadie became anybody’s dog, she was most certainly TJ’s. He LOVES that little dog! She is his “Sadie Girl.” So, every now and then when he calls home we put the phone up to her ear so that he can talk to her. Her ears perk up and she cocks her head and then she takes off running through the house looking for her TJ.

TJ and his Sadie Girl

One of my favorite memories since TJ enlisted was his first visit home. He had been away just about six months. We knew that he missed Sadie because he would always ask about her whenever he got to call home. His biggest concern was how spoiled she would be. Sadie began barking from “her room” when she heard the front door open. When we released her from her room, she raced into the living room to find her TJ! It wasn’t even a bark but it was more of a squeal as she danced around him and up on him as much as she could. He just stood there and laughed with the exuberant welcome home she gave him. There was no question that she had missed him as much as he missed her!

The visits have become further apart, but TJ’s love for this little dog has never dimmed. I am thankful that while he serves our country so far away, he carries with him the memories of a silly little black lab that wears a bandana and will be ready to do her “welcome home” dance when she sees him walk through that front door again.

Your Sadie Girl is waiting for you, TJ.