Whoever said “silence is golden” was never a parent. Well, at least he or she wasn’t TJ’s parent. Silence with TJ usually indicated that he was into something or up to something.
Perhaps I am a bit biased, but in my opinion, TJ was the ultimate “cute” kid. He had an adorable smile, his eyes were alive with mischief, and he was the personification of “curious.” Therefore, when he did get into something, he would flash that smile, his eyes would sparkle, and it was usually extremely hard to discipline him.
I clearly remember one such afternoon. I had been busy with some project - washing the dishes, preparing supper, vacuuming - for all I remember, when all of a sudden I stopped short to listen and realized the house was way too quiet. At that time we were living in a multi-leveled home. I was on the main level, so I quickly went downstairs and checked the family room. No sign of him there or having been there. I worked hard to not become panic-stricken as I hurried up the two flights of stairs that it took to reach his bedroom. His bedroom door was right at the top of these stairs. As I came within two steps of the landing I stopped short and stood quietly, peeking into his room. Thankfully he was there, sitting on his knees in the middle of the floor with most of his toys surrounding him. In his hand was the baby powder – or, more accurately, what was left of the baby powder. Each and every toy had been heavily layered with white powder, as well as much of the gray wall-to-wall carpeting in his room.
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| Silence = Fun with the baby powder! |
I quietly backed down the stairs and went to get the camera. I can clearly remember telling myself that someday I would appreciate having a picture of this day at play. So, with camera in hand, I returned to his room and snapped a few pictures. But, this time even TJ must have known his “play” had probably gone too far as he looked up at me with a slight hint of nervousness. If I had known just how hard it really is to wash baby powder off of things and to get it out of gray carpet, my original thought of “get a picture” may not have won out that day.
So, silence has never really been “golden” with TJ. One time it culminated in my discovery of a half-eaten tub of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.” On another occasion it was ice cream for breakfast, and yet another time I caught him sucking his bubble gum-flavored medicine from the bottle. He couldn’t get the child-proof cap off so he had the whole top of the bottle, cap and all, in his mouth. Thankfully these were about the worst “silent” events that I can recall, at least right now.
With TJ out on his own as an independent young man, there is a new type of “silence” - periods of time when we haven’t heard from him. At first, the parental panic would set in on me and I had the need to know where he was and what he was doing. As I’ve said before, the Air Force has now “stepped in” and helped me “let go.” But even more than that, I have been learning to trust TJ. He has proven over and over again that he knows how to make good decisions. He thinks through problems and gets advice from people who have the knowledge that he needs and from those that he trusts. He is not impulsive and, though he may be goofy at times, I do know that he takes his service to our country very seriously.
At the same time, TJ has learned that his Mom needs an email, a text, or even a call every now and then to fill us in on what is happening in his life. Together we have worked through this new phase of life. To be sure, I still struggle when I haven’t heard from him for what seems like very long periods of time, especially with him in “the sandbox” (Kuwait). But I hold on to the trust I have in him and continue to remind myself that silence does not mean there is something wrong …
… But he may be up to something! No, silence will probably never be golden to me!
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