One Year Later

One year ago I started this blog to record/share the journey of a mom with a son who had deployed. I had no idea what to expect from his deployment and what uncharted territory it would take me into. I knew I was fortunate that his was only for six months and not the twelve or eighteen that many military are ordered to complete. And, I had been told that Kuwait wasn’t really considered “dangerous,” especially when compared with Iraq and Afghanistan. But, none of that seemed to matter too much when it was MY son deploying to the other side of the world. 

Standing guard at the main gate, Kuwait, 2010

It seemed so monumental when he deployed and on that day there was a heavy somberness of the unknown. We had no idea just how safe he would or would not be in Kuwait, regardless of what people told us. There was a growing unrest between Iran and Israel because of the nuclear power plant Iran was building, just 100 miles across the Gulf of Oman, and we were concerned what would happen if the situation escalated. When he first arrived and told us that he stood guard at the front gate, our thoughts raced to the suicide bombers who drove trucks of explosives through military bases’ front gates and we prayed that much more for his safety. When he told us of working in “the pit” looking for bombs that might have been planted underneath our own military trucks, I never dreamed that “the bad guys” would think or ever try to do something like that and then to come to terms with my son finding one! Those first few days and weeks truly opened our eyes to the world of “deployment.”

Now, a year later as I think back to those first few weeks, I realize just how much of a learning experience it was for all of us. TJ gained invaluable knowledge and experience for his military future. We grew stronger as we leaned on the Lord, trusting Him to keep TJ safe. And as TJ fell into his new pattern and the routines of his job in Kuwait, we, too, found that our lives settled back into their routines and it became just another part of our lives.

One year later as I write to recognize the “anniversary” of the month when TJ deployed, knowing that I didn’t even understand why I was blogging about it, I am thankful that I did record this journey. I am thankful to know my feelings, thoughts, and the experiences have been saved. My husband believes that somewhere down the road these blogs will serve a purpose, if only to become a unique scrapbook of this phase in our lives.

So, where does this blog go from here? I have no idea. Just as when I started it I didn’t know what it would evolve into; I’m just as unsure now of its future. What I do know is that I’ve had over 1000 views during this year! I don’t think I know that many people, so, many of you who have visited; we’ve never met and probably never will. I feel honored that even though you don’t know me, our family, or TJ, you have still taken the time to read our story.

This also seems to be a fitting time to say to each and every one of you who have “stopped by” or maybe faithfully followed me/us on this journey – thank you. Thank you for caring enough to share in our family’s “deployment” journey. Thank you for showing your support of our son, and our nation’s military family. To those who have left me comments, thank you for your words of encouragement and support. But most of all, thank you for praying with us for TJ’s safety and for our family as we walked the path of deployment.

One year later, I am one very proud and thankful mom. 

Independence Day, 2011

We celebrate our nation’s independence on the 4^th of July. It is a holiday that has been celebrated every year since 1776. John Adams, one of the authors of the Declaration of Independence, wrote to his wife Abigail reflecting upon their work on the Declaration of Independence and his excitement about our country’s independence. In that letter he said,

“The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more.”

When we lived in New Jersey, our town had a 4^th of July parade. I can clearly picture myself, Joe and our very young sons standing with the crowd along the parade route. It was a very typical procession with colorful floats and marching bands in it. I turned to look down the street to see what was coming next and saw a military troop marching toward us. I cannot recall what branch of the military they represented. I don’t know if they were a reserve group or on active duty. They were in their battle dress uniforms, walking in formation down the center of the avenue. By the time they were in front of us there were tears of gratitude rolling down my face. The boys, who were probably not much older than three and five, couldn’t figure out why Mommy was crying. It was probably the first time that TJ got any kind of “up close” look at the military.

Several years later, when we were living in Southern California, we attended summer concerts in the park. The city of Palm Springs would host various musicians or bands in the city park. I don’t know too many families with young children who turn down anything that is free, and we were no exception. We took the boys to several concerts each summer, but the one that we were always sure to attend was the very last one of the season. Each year the Marine band from Twenty-nine Palms came and performed. The band members looked so sharp in their dress blues and the boys, now grade school age, loved to see them and listen to their performance!

Each year the band would close out their program by honoring all of the vets in the crowd. They played the song for each of the branches of the military, moving from one into the next until all of them had been recognized. The veterans were to stand when the song of their particular branch was played. As each group of veterans stood to their feet the crowd cheered and applauded. I can’t even write about this without crying, so you can imagine what I was like sitting among the veterans we were acknowledging. [By now the boys understood why I cried, so at least I didn’t have to explain it all over again each year]. It seems that without fail, every year as we packed up the blankets and lawn chairs and headed for home, the boys talked about the day they were going to be soldiers. For TJ it was just another up-close and personal encounter with the military.

We didn’t always make it to a fireworks display on the 4^th of July. So, we began to watch some of the various specials on TV [although admittedly it cannot compare to being there in person!], One of my all-time favorites was the year we watched Disney’s celebration. Lee Greenwood was one of the special guests that year, which would have been in the early nineties. They had him placed in Frontier Land and he sang “I’m Proud to be an American.” By the time the song was finished, not only was I in tears, but I was standing in the middle of the living room singing with him, as best I could through my tears. Thankfully my family fully understands my deep patriotism and didn’t have me locked away for losing my mind. (You can watch one of Lee Greenwood’s early performances of this song here.)

A "Self-Portrait" that TJ Created

Sometimes I think back on these various events when TJ watched his mom unashamedly let her patriotism shine through, and I have to believe it was the planting of the seed in his own heart for his deep love of our country. TJ is deeply proud to be an American and to be serving his country! This year he will be ‘home’ in Montana, serving on base.

I have learned that most military bases will have a fifty gun salute at Noon on the 4^th of July. It is called “The Union’s Salute” to recognize each state. TJ has never mentioned this event, but I’m sure he would be extremely proud to be a part of it. To be sure, if I was standing in the crowd, I’d be in tears before the last gun shot.

When John Adams wrote to his wife back in 1776, he was off by two days with his thoughts about when our nation would celebrate her independence. But he was extremely accurate with the fact that we would indeed celebrate, and celebrate in a very big way, each and every year!

Happy Independence Day to each of you! And …    

God bless America! 

Getting Back to Normal - May 31, 2011

TJ didn’t want any big fanfare when he arrived home from Kuwait. He didn’t want us at the Great Falls airport to greet him with the big signs and balloons, nor did he want anything drawing special attention to his arrival home about twelve days later. He just wanted things to be “normal.”

Working together on his lamp.

On Monday, February 21^st, TJ pulled into the driveway. He had been given an extended leave and he took full advantage of it! Just before coming home, he had signed a lease on his first apartment and purchased a bed for it. Beyond that, he did not have too much in terms of household items. Therefore, we spent most of our time with him looking for things he needed for his apartment or working on decorating it. He and I turned the kitchen island into the work center for many of these projects. It was so much fun to see his excitement as candle holders were made into lamps, as he turned thrift shop picture frames into works of art, and to watch him making plans to decorate his own place, taking this step of total independence.

TJ had to report back on base on Monday, March 8^th, where he spent about two weeks at his old job in the armory. He then went into the Airman Leadership School (ALS) for an intensive six week class required before he would be allowed to put his Staff Sgt stripes on in June. We were warned that he would have heavy loads of homework each night and were told not to expect much communication during this time. Not a problem for this Mom who had just gone through six months of deployment! We told him we would not call or text unless it was an absolute emergency - and for most of the time we held true to it.

The reports of the amount of homework had been very accurate. He had tons of reading to do and wrote many papers during the class. One of his papers was his view of leadership. It listed his six core values of a leader and by the time he was done explaining each one, providing numerous quotes from other military leaders, the paper was over ten typewritten pages!  

Presentation of the Commandant's Award

At the end of the class TJ called home to tell us that he would probably be receiving an award. On May 3^rd at the ALS graduation banquet TJ was presented with the Commandant’s Award. The Commandant’s Award is sponsored by the Air Force Sergeants Association, and is presented to the student who, in the Commandant’s judgment, made the most significant contribution to the overall success of the class. I asked TJ out of all the awards presented which one would he have wanted to earn. He said, “This is the award I wanted.” He went on to explain that it would have been nice to have earned the award for being at the top of the class. But to earn the Commandant’s Award meant that all of the students in the class voted on who they believed was deserving of the award. After that, the commanders who taught the class made the final decision. TJ was honored to know that first his fellow students had recognized him for this award, and then the leadership.

TJ really doesn’t care for a lot of attention and is not a big fan of large celebrations being given in his honor. He never sees his exemplary work as anything more than what is expected of him. For TJ doing his job with excellence is very … well, “normal.”

Back on American Soil! ... Day 189

It has been nine days since TJ had posted anything on his Facebook page and fourteen days since his last phone call. Knowing that his deployment was to end at any time, it was becoming VERY difficult to wait for word from him. In fact, I didn’t do too well with that period of silence. I finally emailed him. When he didn't answer that I sent a private message on Facebook about three days later. During this silent period we were guessing between two options: 1) he was still in Kuwait and no longer had access to the internet, or 2) he was trying to get all the way home and surprise us.

Tonight as I got into the car to come home from work the cell phone went off. It was the first text message from TJ in more than six months!

“Just got to Baltimore. Gonna’ be here tonight and leave tomorrow morning for Montana.”

What a fantastic text!

TJ will be given twelve days of “R & R”, but is hoping he can get some additional time off to come home and visit many good friends that he hasn’t seen in over a year.

We are SO thankful TJ is back on American soil!

  

One very proud and grateful mom!

Airman of the Month ... Day 177

Presentation of Airman of the Month Award!

Yesterday TJ posted the following on Facebook:

‎”387 AEG Airman of the Month - God has blessed me this year. Couldn’t have done it without the support, mentor-ship, and encouragement of the 387 Family.”

He had called us earlier on Friday to share his good news with us and we couldn’t be more proud of him! [It’s that “stinkin’ proud” feeling again!] In talking with him we discovered that he was selected as the Airman of the Month out of the approximately 400 airmen that are on his base. What an honor!

Airman of the Month Award
Below it - five coins TJ has recieved!

This picture shows the award they presented to him. At the bottom of the award he placed the five coins he has been given from various officers during his deployment. To be “coined” by an officer is a very meaningful recognition of superior service to the Airman. [One of the coins was actually given to him by a General].

TJ begins his final week of deployment. I couldn’t imagine a better way for him to end it. Congratulations, TJ! We are so very proud of you and can’t wait to see you!

The Beat of TJ's Drums ... Day 170

TJ playing the drums at 15 months!

When TJ was 15 months old, his older brother was given a child’s toy trap set for Christmas. I don’t have a single picture of his brother playing those drums, but I have two of TJ. In one of the pictures he is singing and having the time of his life. In the other picture the gleam in his eyes lets you know just how much fun he was having on those little toy drums.

Fifteen years later one of TJ’s friends showed him a few simple things about playing the drums. He bought himself a pair of sticks and began practicing / playing the drums in the church’s youth room whenever he could. One Sunday evening after services were over, his dad was down the hall from the youth room and asked one of the other teens, “who’s in there playing the drums?” They looked at him with surprise and replied, “It’s your son, TJ.” We were stunned and amazed. Without a single “professional” lesson, he had learned not just how to play the drums, but how to do so with sensitivity to the music and his audience.

That year for Christmas TJ and his dad watched the eBay sales for drum sets and won the bid for the one that TJ had decided was “perfect!” They arrived several weeks before Christmas but we made him wait until Christmas morning to have them. He also received several desired attachments, like several more sets of sticks, a cow bell, cymbals, and his requested “throne” as the drum set’s seat is occasionally called.

Our neighbors were very thankful for our basement where the drum set was assembled. And then it was time for a family “jam” session! His older brother played electric guitar, dad was on the keyboard, and there was TJ, in all his glory, playing his very own set of drums!

From then on he spent as much time as he could, with a pair of headphones on listening to music while he played his drums. He spent his money purchasing a double drum pedal, more cymbals, and of course, lots of drum sticks. I had no idea how quickly he could go through a set of drum sticks!

Later TJ became the drummer for the worship team at church. He instinctively knew when a cymbal roll was needed, or just a light, quiet brush of the snare drum, and when to let loose with a run across the other drums. It was so much fun to watch him. He loved playing for his Savior.

On his last Sunday before heading off to boot camp, he was allowed to really let loose and played a 3-4 minute drum solo during one of his favorite songs. I don’t think there was a dry eye in the entire congregation as we watched him play for the Lord with all of his heart.

Leaving his drums behind was probably one of the hardest things TJ did when he headed off to serve in the Air Force. Once he was assigned to Malmstrom Air Force Base, he made arrangements for his things to be shipped out to him. He gave me specific instructions to make sure the movers packed his drums very carefully! Though he had no place to assemble and play his trap set, he wanted them with him. During his first few years on base, he was able to play for the worship team at the base chapel and again, thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to worship with the drums!

Frequently I find myself watching the drummer of the Sunday morning worship team, and often I must fight back tears as I think of the days when TJ sat there. How I miss watching him praising his Lord on the drums! I suppose that is why I love the following verses from Psalm 150.

Praise God in His sanctuary;

Praise Him in His mighty firmament!

Praise Him with the sound of the trumpet;

Praise Him with the lute and harp!

Praise Him with the timbrel and dance;

Praise Him with stringed instruments and flutes!

Praise Him with loud cymbals;

Praise Him with clashing cymbals!

Let everything that hath breath praise the Lord,

Praise the Lord!

Psalm 150:1, 3-6

Keep praising the Lord in any way you can, TJ. And may the day soon come when you can do it with your cymbals and drums!

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words … Day 150

I have heard the saying countless times – ‘A picture is worth a thousand words.’ And it is true – there are some pictures that capture a moment in time or an expression that we could never capture through our words.

Just a month ago parents stood in lines with their little ones who were all dressed up for a picture with Santa. Weddings take place every weekend and each couple wants their special day caught on film – both DVD and photo paper. We could come up with ‘thousands’ of situations that people want captured in photos because photos hold within them priceless moments in time that people never want to forget and that they know they could probably never fully capture in words.

Therefore, just a few nights ago my husband told me to go look at the picture that was on TJ’s Facebook page. The grin on TJ’s face goes beyond ‘a thousand words!’ Though there was no explanation of who he was standing with or what the occasion was – his face said it all. I encourage you to ‘read’ it for yourself!