Trick or Treat ... Day 87

As I prepare to answer the door tonight to the “goblins” who will come to “trick-or-treat,” my mind races back to the days when I walked up and down the block with our boys. I admit – as much as I wanted to do elaborate costumes for the boys - most of the time ours were pretty simple. One year TJ had an orange and black striped shirt. I painted a few stripes on his face, pinned a striped tail on his pants and he was a tiger, even thought he wouldn’t wear the nose piece. One year both of the boys were into Zorro, and so with black pants, shirts, capes, masks, and Grandpa’s homemade swords, they were Zorro!

Halloween fun as Knights

Probably our most elaborate year was when they wanted to be knights. This time we found large pieces of cardboard and created shields and their breastplates. The tricky part was their helmets and face shields. It was our first year homeschooling, including a very intense art class as we worked with papier-mâché over inflated balloons to create them. EVERYTHING got sprayed with silver spray paint. They then added their crests to the front of their shields and they were ready to go! I clearly remember this year because by the time we made it down one side of our block, I was carrying the face shields. By the time we made it up the other side, I was also carrying their hand shields. BEFORE they no longer wanted to wear their helmets or breastplates, I called it quits and we headed for home!

Although we didn’t do trick-or-treating with the boys much past TJ’s fifth birthday, he still played at being different things like a cowboy, and especially an army man. He loved playing with and playing as a “G.I. Joe.” Had I been astute to his love for the military, I might have realized the foreshadowing of his military play, and could have seen ahead to the day he would don a true military uniform.

TJ, who still loves Halloween, sent me pictures of the spooky mask he had set up in his room on base. But it seems that TJ “celebrates” Halloween whenever he feels like it. For example, during his first year, his team had been out checking on the nuclear missiles in their assigned area. When they returned to their off-site base, TJ decided that the humvee was dirty and took it upon himself to wash it. When he was done, he had decided that he was now wearing most of the dirt from the vehicle. Not wanting to waste the opportunity this presented itself in his mind, he put war-paint on his face and began crawling through the grass around the base. I can see him doing it and having the time of his life! That is, until his commander came looking for him. “Lombardi!” he shouted. “What are you doing?” As TJ stood up, he looked at his commander and said, “Playing Rambo, Sir.” I’d love to know what went through that commander’s mind at that moment. Whatever it was, he mustered the strength to simply reply to TJ, “Well, it’s time to stop. Now go clean up.”

Desert Uniform - Just more fun for TJ!

Since then, I’ve received pictures on my mobile phone from TJ with various gas masks on, night vision goggles, and the like. So, getting to go to Kuwait only opened a new door of fun for TJ. While he was training in the Las Vegas area he had a buddy take a picture of him. He was dressed in full desert BDU (battle dress uniform), including the face scarf he can wear for sand storms, along with gloves, helmet, dark sunglasses, his rifle, and a stop sign in Arabic. Those who know TJ, know that he was having the time of his life! And, now, almost a full three months since he deployed, he still loves what he is doing in Kuwait!  From what he tells us, his commanders love having him there on base with them. They see that although he’s a little nutty at times, in TJ’s words, “they know I’m not crazy, I just like to have fun doing my job.”

As Halloween comes to an end, I am sure that TJ found his share of goofy, fun-filled things to do in “the sandbox.” So, enjoy it, Pal, and stay safe! 

Laughter Does Good, Like Medicine … Day 71

Have I mentioned before that TJ has a terrific sense of humor? He loves to laugh and he loves to make people laugh. TJ loves to start a conversation with you using one of his “voices.” When you least expect it, he will suddenly be a salesman, with an Indian accent, selling you dishwashing detergent. Sometimes when things are a bit too quiet, he’ll become Arnold Schwarzenegger discussing with you what kind of car you should purchase.

Just another day with TJ!

Probably my all time favorite “TJ’s humor stories” was when he answered a friend’s phone in just his normal voice and fooled the true salesman on the other end of the line that he, TJ, really was the owner of the home. As the salesman asked each of his questions, TJ found ways to answer honestly but without revealing that he was simply a friend of the family and not really “the man of the household.” He talked with the salesman about how the teenage daughter of the home was always on the phone with her friends, which was true. He went on to say how difficult this was to deal with her being on the phone so much and then asked the caller, “Do you have teenagers? Can you relate to what I’m talking about?” The salesman said he had just the plan for them!

When asked if they ever called long distance, TJ mentioned that they had relatives that lived in Florida and how those calls could go on for quite a long time. The salesman jumped on that and said he had a plan that would include unlimited long distance and would meet their needs. I don’t remember what the exact question from the salesman was, but TJ was finally not able to answer honestly without getting caught in his charades. There was a long pause from the salesman, and then he asked, “You’re really not Mr. ‘Smith,’ are you?” With a chuckle in his voice TJ replied, “No, I’m not.” “Are you eighteen?” “No, I’m not.” Finally the salesman, realizing how well he had been duped by TJ, started to laugh over the whole thing. TJ told the man that he was just a friend of the family and that Mr. “Smith” wasn’t home – but probably would not be interested in the phone plan anyway. I can still see TJ’s face as he related the story to us. He was grinning from ear to ear, loving the whole spoof, and just a bit proud of himself for fooling a very gullible salesman!

TJ’s humor is often simple but very, very funny. And, most of the time, it is well-timed. Just when you need a good laugh or need to have the tension of a rough situation broken, there is TJ with a one-liner, a goofy twist or perspective on whatever is happening, or just a silly response in one of his many voices. Sometimes you don’t want to laugh, and the harder you try to hold it back, the more he will bring it on. He always sees right through you at those moments, and that just encourages him to keep pushing the silliness.

Today TJ posted a video of some soldiers taking a break and having a little bit of fun with a goat. I don’t know if these are troops that TJ serves with in Kuwait. I don’t even know if this event happened in Kuwait. But, I do know that it is exactly the kind of thing that TJ would get involved in if he was around, and he would certainly enjoy the silliness and fun of the moment. (The video is attached below so that you can laugh along with him).

We miss TJ tremendously. When we experience things and times that just seem overwhelming to us, it is often these memories of his silliness that help pull us through. We will say to each other, “remember when TJ did …whatever?” Or, “remember how TJ would say …such-and-such?” And as our thoughts race back to those fun times, in our minds we hear his voice(s) and we see the twinkle in his eyes and the mischievous smile on his face, and, just as if he were here, we begin to laugh once again.

When I think of him being so far away, serving in Kuwait, and I combine that thought with these precious memories, I wonder, which service of his is being more effective? The one where he stands guard at the main gate, checking for bombs underneath incoming vehicles? Or is it the service of laughter that he brings to his fellow soldiers, using that gift of his to break tense moments, or to cheer someone up who is having a bad day?

I love this one-liner from the Old Testament Book of Proverbs, “Laughter does good, like medicine.” TJ has not only been gifted with a great sense of humor and an ability to make others laugh, but he also has the ability to administer it at just the right moment when it can do the most good - just like medicine.

Thank you for keeping us healthy, TJ! We love you, Pal! 

Ram vs. Soldier

The Power of the Pen … Day 59

In some ways our sons are totally different from each other. That much was especially apparent with respect to their individual learning styles during our years of homeschooling both of them. James was very book-oriented, and completed his workbook assignments with little or no trouble. TJ, on the other hand, was a “hands-on” learner and hated his text books. He was forever asking me why he had to learn grammar, or math, or history, or … At times it seemed a constant struggle to get him to complete his assignments. Reading and writing were the two things he seemed to detest the most.

When TJ received his orders to Malmstrom Air Force Base, he was really excited to begin serving. He also wanted to make a difference for the Lord in people’s lives. He became an active witness to those around him. He got involved with the base chapel, playing the drums for the worship team, as well as working with the young people. It was exciting to hear him talk about those to whom and with whom he wanted to minister.

TJ knows how important and powerful prayer is in a believer’s life. He certainly realized it during his weeks in Basic Military Training. So, one day he decided to enlist the prayer support of his family and friends and began writing his “MUM” letters. In his first letter he explained that “MUM” stood for “Malmstrom’s Underground Missionary” and that his real assignment was from the Lord to be a missionary to those on his base. TJ’s letters were not your “normal” one-page prayer letters. His were three and four pages long! I could not believe this was the same child I had fought “tooth and nail” with to get a one page report from, and now he was writing three to four page letters/reports of his service for the Lord.

As TJ continued to take his stand for Christ, he found himself being challenged to defend what he believed. This was not discouraging to him at all, but it challenged him and motivated him to study areas of doctrine in an effort to defend them.

Now, when TJ does something, as I’ve mentioned in past blogs, he ALWAYS gives more than one hundred percent of himself to it. So, when it came to his need to study the doctrinal areas that he was defending, he didn’t just study them. He studied and then wrote papers to defend his belief. And just as he was doing with his MUM letters, his papers were several pages long and also extremely creative. I teased him one day, telling him that his English teacher was thrilled to finally see him completing his writing assignments! (He didn’t think that was too funny.)

The cover of one of TJ's papers.

He has written papers on so-called “faith healers” [“I Command You to be Healed”], on witnessing [“A New Book, Written Each Day”], and on his own struggle with temptation [“The Stalker in My Midst”]. If you’d like to read these, or any of his other papers, you will find them on a site called Lulu, at TJ Lombardi’s Storefront.

We did not hear TJ talk about writing too much during the past year. But, about two weeks ago Joe told me that he had just received another email from TJ with a special attachment. TJ was writing again, and had asked his dad to please proof his newest paper. His current papers are dealing more with some of the things he is experiencing on the base in Kuwait, such as “serving with excellence.” In fact, he recently wrote to say that his most recent article will be published in the base’s newspaper.

There is no doubt in my mind: TJ is a soldier at heart. He loves defending his country and would not hesitate to fire that assault rifle of his if he believed it was warranted. But, I believe TJ also knows that his pen is just as powerful as the rifle that is strapped to his side. With his pen he not only expresses his thoughts, but can also influence others. And now, with the aid of the internet, his words are impacting people around the world. There may come a day when he will lay down his rifle, but I hope he never puts down his pen.

Integrity, Service, Excellence ... Day 49

TJ’s recruiting officer gave TJ pamphlets to study as his time to enter Basic Military Training (BMT/ boot camp) grew closer. This was to get TJ better prepared for the classroom training he would go through during BMT. The recruiter told TJ two of the most important things he should know were the Air Force mission statement and its values. The mission of the United States Air Force is to fly, fight and win … in air, space and cyberspace.  Its values are: Integrity First / Service before Self / Excellence in All We Do.

TJ is very familiar with the idea of having a mission, or goal, and knows that one’s values provide direction to meet that goal. But we never dreamed that the Air Force’s values would mirror so close to those we had instilled within both of our boys while they were growing up. TJ has been taught from his early grade school days that by staying true to God’s Word he could maintain his integrity in all areas of life. He was taught to always put God first, then others, and lastly, himself. And, we taught him that in everything he did, he was always to do his very best (excellence) because whatever he did, he was to do it for the Lord!

During BMT TJ’s flight had several different instructors (drill sergeants) for the first three weeks. Sgt. de la Costa was finally assigned to his flight for the final four. She stood about 5’2” tall, and if you ever saw her in civilian clothing, you probably would never have guessed that she was a boot camp drill sergeant. As the saying goes, NEVER judge a book by its cover – and never underestimate a drill sergeant based upon her size. She instilled more fear into those recruits than I ever imagined possible! She was also the one who put TJ in charge of cleaning the latrine in their dorm. For four long weeks TJ would stay up after all the others had gone to sleep, cleaning the latrine, polishing every piece of chrome until it looked brand new, wiping down all of the walls, washing every mirror making sure there wasn’t even one spot of even the tiniest size on any of them. He even earned the title “Latrine Queen” from his fellow recruits. He would work for two or more hours each night keeping it spotless – excellence.

At BMT graduation TJ showed us the latrine.
This was just the sink area - there was MUCH more!

It wasn’t until the Sunday afternoon of graduation weekend that TJ finally asked Sgt. de la Costa why she left him with that duty the entire time. This was an assignment that is normally given to the recruit who continually gets in trouble and TJ just couldn’t figure out what he had done to deserve this “penalty” for four weeks. She smiled at him and quietly replied, “Lombardi, I knew you were the only one that I could trust to do the job right and keep it clean.” She knew TJ not only knew the three USAF values, but he fleshed them out in EVERYTHING he did.

This past Sunday, September 19^th, Joe and TJ had a chance to instant message with each other. TJ had finished another tough day at one of the main gates. He said he worked really hard, spending much of the day sweeping and shoveling sand out of the gate guardhouse area. He was working to make the place look good. At one point during his shift he was required to give a “post brief.” He explained to Joe that he had to stand at attention and tell the inspector about his post. His Master Sergeant later told TJ that his post brief was probably the best one that he had ever heard. He went on to tell TJ that he has become known throughout the entire chain of command as one of the most outstanding airmen in the entire squadron, and then he encouraged him to keep up the good work. (The problem is that some of his peers don’t appreciate TJ’s excellence because it “shows them up”).

Joe encouraged TJ to continue doing an excellent job, to remain humble, and respectfully remind others that, along with them, he swore to live by the values of integrity, service, and excellence.

TJ’s reply to Joe was, “Hua!” which stands for “Heard, Understood, and Acknowledged!”

TJ not only has heard, understood, and acknowledged the values of the USAF -, he lives by them every single day!

Of course, I am one Very Proud Mom!

Music, Music, Music ... Day 42

TJ grew up with music. It has always filled our house – as far back as June, 1979, when Joe and I were married (some seven years before the day TJ was born). During his pre-school years I would sing to him as part of our bed-time routine. The songs I sang were mostly simple choruses that I had learned at summer camp when I was just a teenager. They spoke of the saving grace of Jesus Christ and the “light” He places within every believer’s heart. One of TJ’s favorite songs was the theme song from that camp. I was always fascinated that he liked a song that spoke of a place which he had never seen. Even more amazing was that several years later, after one major move across the country from the east coast to the “left” coast, and then a second move half-way back again (to Michigan), TJ was finally able to attend that camp!

Making music TJ style!

When he was about four, TJ took an old cornet that had been given to us, and decided he was going to play it. That was another one of those days when he had gotten a bit too quiet - that is until he figured out how to make some kind of noise on it. So, as any “good” parent would do, we made him take piano lessons for a few years in his early grade school days - which he never enjoyed!

When he was about nine or ten we realized what a nice voice he had and how well he stayed on pitch. At this same time, one of our favorite day-off activities was to drive about an hour and a half to a large Christian bookstore. On one such trip, Joe got TJ the back-up tape for one of his favorite songs and shortly thereafter, TJ sang his first solo for a men’s breakfast. TJ never sang just to sing. He always sang from his heart. Every song he ever chose to perform always meant something special to him.  

On April 20, 1999 two seniors at Columbine High School massacred twelve other students and one teacher before killing themselves. Michael W. Smith wrote and performed the song “This is Your Time” at the funeral of one of these murdered students. That particular incident had a profound impact on TJ and Michael W. Smith’s song, “This Is Your Time” became another one of his favorites. To this day, I cannot listen to that song without seeing in my mind TJ singing it. It was as if every fiber of his being joined him as he sang in memory of the Christian students who lost their lives for their faith in Christ.

As his voice began to change during his teenage years and his love for the drums grew [that is another whole blog for another time], TJ’s desire to sing in public faded. But, he has not lost his love of music – far from it! He has simply found new ways to express himself through music. Another one of those ways has been to create musical video/slide shows. Most of these are tributes to the military and they are extremely moving. I have put one of my favorites below. TJ has used Chris Daughtry's song "Home" to pay tribute to his fellow service men and women who have sacrificed so much to serve our country in the foreign lands of Afghanistan and Iraq and look forward to coming home. Because music is an expression to and from the heart, I encourage you to listen to TJ’s heart.

The Anniversary of 9/11 ... Day 37

Who can forget it? Most of us can still vividly recall where we were and what we were doing when we learned of commercial airliners slamming into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, along with the crash of United Flight 93 that is believed to have been heading for the White House. It is one of those catastrophic events that we Americans will never forget. In recognition of that event, one of the ribbons TJ wears on his dress blues uniform symbolizes the fact that he volunteered to serve his country after 9/11.

I know that I really have never done any tangible thing to pay tribute to those who lost their lives that morning. But once again TJ’s deployment has created within me a new outlook on this anniversary. So, today, I decided to change that and I displayed our flag in memory of those who died, and in honor of those who serve, like TJ, to make sure it never happens again.

I also learned about a coffee company that does something really special for this anniversary, and I thought I’d share it with those of you who are reading my blog. The coffee company is Green Beans Coffee. I had never heard of them before today. But, they must be a pretty awesome company because this is the second year that they have done “A Cup of Joe for a Joe” on the anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks. It’s a very simple but HUGE program. Anybody can go to their website and purchase one or more cups of coffee. Green Beans Company then takes those on-line purchases and sends the coffee to our military personnel overseas and GIVES the coffee to them on behalf of the sender! Pretty cool, I think! The website even gives you an opportunity to write a brief note to whoever receives your cup of coffee. This gives you a way to verbally say, “thank you for serving.”

But it gets even better! The Green Beans Company gives $1 of every cup of Joe purchased this weekend to the group Soldiers’ Angels. This is a non-profit organization that solely works to make sure that no soldier goes unloved. They are constantly sending huge care packages overseas to the various troops. The donation from this weekend’s “Cup of Joe for a Joe” program will be a tremendous help to their efforts to “love” our military!

So, today, on the anniversary of a tragic event, stop and thank the Lord for the freedoms we still enjoy each and every day here in America. I encourage you to hang your flag in memory of those who died, and in honor of those who are serving to protect us and to defend liberty. I would also encourage you to consider buying a service man or woman a cup of coffee this weekend. I know it is just a small act of kindness, but they so deserve it – and you will probably never forget it, too!

  

"Just a Minute" Kid ... Day 34

“Just a minute, Mom.” If I heard it once, I heard it way too much with TJ. And I’m talking about hearing him say it multiple times in just one day!  We’ve joked with TJ that should he die before us we will put on his gravestone, “Here Lies TJ ‘Just-a-Minute’ Lombardi!” It didn’t matter what we asked him to do, or told him he had to do, or even when we summoned him to a meal, the answer always seemed to be the same, “Just a minute.” So, Joe nicknamed him the “just-a-minute kid” one day.

Come to think of it, TJ is such a “just-a-minute” kid that he basically did it to me when he was born. I never had any false labor with James, so we did not even give it a thought that it might possibly happen with the second pregnancy. How well I remember that Sunday morning when I woke up experiencing mild labor pains. Joe and I agreed that I should stay at home to monitor them. The youth pastor’s wife took James to church with her so that I didn’t have to be dealing with him at the same time I was dealing with contractions. I called my parents and they agreed to come right after their church service to get James. But by the time they arrived everything had come to a complete stand-still. We all went out for lunch and decided that they would go ahead and take James home with them, and if nothing happened during the night, then Joe and I would pick him up the following day.

Later that afternoon Joe and I went to visit one of the church members who was hospitalized. On the way home we stopped at a restaurant that was known for its pies, and I had one of those sudden cravings for pumpkin pie with ice cream. This kind of indulgence is a HUGE “no-no” for any woman in labor according to the “rule” that we learned about in our natural child-birth classes: Dairy products eaten in the early stages of labor would cause one to become sick as labor progressed. Therefore, Joe did not want me to eat that slice of pie a la mode. But I insisted, explaining that it had been several hours since the last contraction and all I wanted was my pumpkin pie with ice cream! And I won out!

Joe holding TJ - Sept. 1986

I don’t remember exactly when the contractions started back up that evening, but when they did this time there was no question – this was the real thing! TJ finally made his grand entrance into the world at 11:39 p.m. on Sunday, September 7^th, 1986 - and not a minute sooner than he felt like it.

For twenty years TJ drove us nuts with his “just a minute” response. So, when we went to his Basic Military Training (BMT) graduation we were astonished to see him instantly responding to commands made by his superiors. I’m not sure just how his BMT instructor managed to undo that natural, inborn and deeply ingrained habit of his, but we were amazed to watch this feisty, petite female Staff Sergeant call out his name, and then see him immediately respond with  “Yes, Mam!” Joe even congratulated her on this incredible feat during the dorm open house. She simply smiled, and we wondered: Could it possibly be that because of TJ’s USAF experience, the days of “just a minute” are now over and done with and gone forever?

Listen, I’ll get back to you on that in … just a minute!