Thanksgiving Day ... Day 112

Thanksgiving dawned with my mind counting backwards from dinner time, figuring out just when the turkey needed to go in, followed by when to make the potato and bean dishes, etc. Joe had gotten up earlier and made a wonderful breakfast sandwich for me. I love the egg, sausage, cheese sandwiches and this one was made on a homemade biscuit!

As we talked over our plans for the meal and its “timing,” when our friends would arrive, and what all needed to be done, we could not help but wonder, would TJ be able to call home? Both of us had sent him Thanksgiving greetings via email the night before so that when his Thanksgiving Day began our greetings would be waiting for him. We have no idea if this is just another day at work for TJ or if he will be given the day off to celebrate the holiday.

Hanging the flag, Thanksgiving morning, 2010

With breakfast done, I was about to start the next thing on my mental “to-do” list, when I suddenly remembered the flag! Grabbing my coat, I dashed out the door with our American flag. As I neared the poll mount, I allowed the flag to unfurl so that it was waving behind me.

Many may not understand this gesture, but for me, I am not only thankful for my freedom, but thankful for my son, my niece, Beth, (see Cousins … Day 26) and the thousands of others who will not be coming home to Mom’s for dinner today because they are standing guard, defending my freedom. Both TJ and Beth have volunteered for their deployments. Beth left for Afghanistan about two weeks ago. Part of her purpose in going is to relieve others, enabling them to get home for the holidays. I am not just thankful for the sacrifice these two are making, but I am so “stinkin’” proud of them!

Right now, it is time for me to begin the herb-butter rub for our turkey. This year it is just a small three pound turkey breast. TJ may not be sitting at our table today. But, he is not missing! He is very present here at home, always in our hearts, our thoughts, and our prayers.

As I count my blessings today, TJ and his safety for the past 112 days is at the top of my list! 

Facebook ... Day 109

Facebook is a social network service and website that began in February, 2004. It is operated and privately owned by Facebook, Inc, and as of July, 2010, has more than 500 million active users. “Users” of Facebook may create personal profiles, add other users as friends and exchange messages. In January, 2009, one study ranked Facebook as the most used social network by worldwide monthly active users. I am NOT one of them, but both TJ and my husband have their own Facebook pages.

Both of them enjoy connecting [and reconnecting] with people. My husband is now talking to former classmates from his high school days. He hasn’t seen some of them since they graduated more than forty years ago. TJ also keeps up with his friends, his cousins, and his fellow airmen.

A picture TJ posted on his Facebook page from Kuwait.

As I said earlier, I am not on Facebook. I already sit at a computer most of the day at work, and the last thing I want to do when I get home is to sit down at a computer once again. But occasionally, I will sneak into this social network somewhere out there in cyberspace through my husband’s page. I normally do this when he tells me about what somebody else has posted, and I have the desire to see it for myself, or when I want to pull pictures from TJ’s page.

This morning was one of those times. Someone encouraged Facebook users to write thirty things about themselves, post it, and then pass the idea on to thirty other Facebook users. TJ must have decided that he wanted to become one of the links in that chain, so he sat down and cranked out thirty statements about himself. My husband saw it and suggested that I might want to check it out. I began working my way rather quickly through the list, until I came to #25. TJ said, “There is something better then my momma's cooking - my dad’s!  Hee hee”    

Now, I will admit that it has almost become a family joke that I only have about three or four recipes that I’m good with, and after that we go out to eat. To be sure, it is not really that bad, but I am by no means an “Iron Chef!” In fact, TJ is right: His dad can whip up some incredibly awesome dishes when I step out of his way in the kitchen!

I also discovered that as I was reading through TJ’s list, it was as though I was learning things about him through his own eyes. His honesty and transparency, even in creating something like this list, was amazing to me. As I considered some of his observations about himself, I caught myself nodding in agreement and saying to myself, “Yup, that’s TJ alright!” There were also times when I could not help but marvel as I realized he was sharing some of his deepest desires and most private feelings. [For example, I had no idea that he desires to have “an Army of children” someday].

As I quietly and respectfully read his heart, which is really the only way TJ knows to write something like this list, my heart could not help but swell with pride for him. Interestingly, the very first thing he put on his list for others to know about him was, “1. I am severely passionate about loyalty and honesty to my friends.” Nothing could be more accurate about TJ than that statement. He also wrote about his intense passion to serve, “I love the military, but hate my job, only due to the fact that I want to give more.”  

But far more than learning what he desires, or once again seeing how passionate he is about serving in the military, was the immense joy I felt as I read about his faith in the Lord. He wrote three separate statements about his relationship with God:

“I love my life, but had to fight and work to get some of the things I have today; but it was always God that allowed the things to happen the way they did.

“I don’t always do what I should to honor the Lord, but He gives me more grace than I deserve, and always forgives me, His love I will never fully contemplate.

“[I am] saved every day by the grace of God.”

Amen, TJ. Amen.

TJ’s “Super HUA Day” Holiday … Day 98

Today is Veteran’s Day. November 11^th was when the peace treaty that ended World War I was signed. No matter what day of the week November 11^th falls on, it is the day that our country stops to honor those who have sacrificed for our freedoms. As a result, I had the day off work.  Stores held special sales for veterans and restaurants offered free meals to those who have and are serving in the military.

Veteran’s Day probably wasn’t too much different for TJ. There are no Applebee’s on base for him to go to for a free meal. But that is okay with him. You see, TJ has been declaring his own “holiday”. A little more than a week ago he called to tell me it had been “Super HUA Day.” I asked him what that was and he explained that he had proclaimed the day as “Super HUA Day” and went to work in FULL gear. For TJ this is his way of having a holiday when he feels it is needed. It is also his way of having some fun and wearing all of his gear even though it is not required.

TJ's picture of "Super HUA Day"

On Wednesday we received an email from TJ with a picture attached. He was having another “Super HUA Day,” as well as a little bit of fun. I laughed when I saw it. In my mind I could hear him goofing around as he imitated somebody who’d had too much “HOOAH!” I know he was simply having some fun, and probably bringing laughter to those around him.

Although TJ has fun proclaiming “Super HUA Day” I think that deep down inside it is his unique way of recommitting himself to the values he swore to uphold when he took his oath of service; “Integrity first, Service before self, and Excellence in all we do.”  TJ takes that oath very seriously and strives to live out those values everyday when he puts on his uniform. “HUA” simply means he has heard, understood, and acknowledged those values.

Today has been one of a few USA holidays to remind us of our freedom, those who fought for it, and the tremendous sacrifice our military men and women have made and continue to make for that freedom.  TJ is thankful for such holidays. But the one that means the most to him is his own “Super HUA Day.” He will celebrate it as often as he needs to in order to remind and encourage himself to continue serving with integrity, selflessness, and excellence. TJ never wants to give his second best and he never wants to forget for whom he is serving: He serves for each and every one of us!

So, TJ, Super HUA Day to you! May it be a great one!

Halfway There ... Day 93

Today, Saturday, November 6, 2010, is exactly three months since TJ deployed and flew from Norfolk, Virginia to Kuwait. He is halfway through his time in Kuwait. On August 6th, it seemed it would be an eternity with him gone. But today, just as I did when he was a child, I wonder where has the time gone? It is almost hard to believe he has been there for a full three months and that there are only three more to go!
Tomorrow TJ will get up and begin the second-half of his deployment. Keep up the good work, Pal, and be safe! 

A Phone Call from “UNKNOWN” … Day 93

The office where I work was “quiet” yesterday because several of my co-workers were gone. I was working on an assignment from my boss when my cell phone began to vibrate. I reached over and picked it up. It said “Call from UNKNOWN.” My heart quickened and I’m sure I was grinning as I answered it! This caller was not “Unknown”! This message told me TJ was calling!

As we began the conversation, I was able to slip away from my desk and sought the privacy of the conference room in my office. I was so thankful for the “quiet” day!

TJ is doing very well. He told me that he had proclaimed it “Super HUA Day!” and had gone to work in FULL gear: Knee pads, elbow pads, helmet, goggles, gas mask, etc. (If this idea of his makes no sense to you, please go back and read my post titled “Laughter Does Good, Like Medicine … Day 71”.) As he told me about his new “holiday” he said that one of his commanders saw him and just began laughing! It made TJ’s day to bring that kind of joy to someone else’s day. I asked him if anyone had taken a picture of him and he said, “Of course not! Why would they?” (…Well, so much for that scrapbook page!)

TJ continues to excel at his job and to thoroughly enjoy the deployment. One of the commanders recently asked him when his deployment would end. “January 31^st, Sir!” he answered. “Oh, I was hoping you’d be here at least through May,” the commander replied. “I hate the idea of being here without you.” TJ immediately told the commander he would be very willing to have his deployment extended, but they both know that this kind of change is very unlikely. TJ explained to me that for an extension to be granted, his home base would have to permit it - and they most likely would not do that because they insist they are short-handed and really need him back there.

I brought him up-to-date with the things happening here at home with Joe and myself. He said he had received a note from his grandmother, and could I tell her that he appreciated it. And so, the conversation continued. It seemed all too soon when he said he had to go.

After we said good-bye and I returned to my desk, I was so grateful. Just to hear his voice was such an encouragement! To hear the laughter in his voice as he told me about “Super HUA Day,” to catch the excitement he still has just from being there, and to sense the joy he feels in doing what he loves and believes in! It made my heart soar!

Then I thought about the bygone days - actually, not that long ago - when a deployment meant not just months of separation, but usually very slow  (if any) opportunities to communicate with a serviceman overseas. And most certainly, NO phone calls! How blessed we are these days that modern technology enables us to communicate with loved ones that are literally half-way around the world from us, in a time-zone that is ten hours ahead of us, and yet, we talked with each other as if he were standing right outside my office building! How very fortunate we are! How very grateful I am!!

“UNKNOWN”? I don’t think so! It was “Super HUA Day” from my son! 

Trick or Treat ... Day 87

As I prepare to answer the door tonight to the “goblins” who will come to “trick-or-treat,” my mind races back to the days when I walked up and down the block with our boys. I admit – as much as I wanted to do elaborate costumes for the boys - most of the time ours were pretty simple. One year TJ had an orange and black striped shirt. I painted a few stripes on his face, pinned a striped tail on his pants and he was a tiger, even thought he wouldn’t wear the nose piece. One year both of the boys were into Zorro, and so with black pants, shirts, capes, masks, and Grandpa’s homemade swords, they were Zorro!

Halloween fun as Knights

Probably our most elaborate year was when they wanted to be knights. This time we found large pieces of cardboard and created shields and their breastplates. The tricky part was their helmets and face shields. It was our first year homeschooling, including a very intense art class as we worked with papier-mâché over inflated balloons to create them. EVERYTHING got sprayed with silver spray paint. They then added their crests to the front of their shields and they were ready to go! I clearly remember this year because by the time we made it down one side of our block, I was carrying the face shields. By the time we made it up the other side, I was also carrying their hand shields. BEFORE they no longer wanted to wear their helmets or breastplates, I called it quits and we headed for home!

Although we didn’t do trick-or-treating with the boys much past TJ’s fifth birthday, he still played at being different things like a cowboy, and especially an army man. He loved playing with and playing as a “G.I. Joe.” Had I been astute to his love for the military, I might have realized the foreshadowing of his military play, and could have seen ahead to the day he would don a true military uniform.

TJ, who still loves Halloween, sent me pictures of the spooky mask he had set up in his room on base. But it seems that TJ “celebrates” Halloween whenever he feels like it. For example, during his first year, his team had been out checking on the nuclear missiles in their assigned area. When they returned to their off-site base, TJ decided that the humvee was dirty and took it upon himself to wash it. When he was done, he had decided that he was now wearing most of the dirt from the vehicle. Not wanting to waste the opportunity this presented itself in his mind, he put war-paint on his face and began crawling through the grass around the base. I can see him doing it and having the time of his life! That is, until his commander came looking for him. “Lombardi!” he shouted. “What are you doing?” As TJ stood up, he looked at his commander and said, “Playing Rambo, Sir.” I’d love to know what went through that commander’s mind at that moment. Whatever it was, he mustered the strength to simply reply to TJ, “Well, it’s time to stop. Now go clean up.”

Desert Uniform - Just more fun for TJ!

Since then, I’ve received pictures on my mobile phone from TJ with various gas masks on, night vision goggles, and the like. So, getting to go to Kuwait only opened a new door of fun for TJ. While he was training in the Las Vegas area he had a buddy take a picture of him. He was dressed in full desert BDU (battle dress uniform), including the face scarf he can wear for sand storms, along with gloves, helmet, dark sunglasses, his rifle, and a stop sign in Arabic. Those who know TJ, know that he was having the time of his life! And, now, almost a full three months since he deployed, he still loves what he is doing in Kuwait!  From what he tells us, his commanders love having him there on base with them. They see that although he’s a little nutty at times, in TJ’s words, “they know I’m not crazy, I just like to have fun doing my job.”

As Halloween comes to an end, I am sure that TJ found his share of goofy, fun-filled things to do in “the sandbox.” So, enjoy it, Pal, and stay safe! 

Laughter Does Good, Like Medicine … Day 71

Have I mentioned before that TJ has a terrific sense of humor? He loves to laugh and he loves to make people laugh. TJ loves to start a conversation with you using one of his “voices.” When you least expect it, he will suddenly be a salesman, with an Indian accent, selling you dishwashing detergent. Sometimes when things are a bit too quiet, he’ll become Arnold Schwarzenegger discussing with you what kind of car you should purchase.

Just another day with TJ!

Probably my all time favorite “TJ’s humor stories” was when he answered a friend’s phone in just his normal voice and fooled the true salesman on the other end of the line that he, TJ, really was the owner of the home. As the salesman asked each of his questions, TJ found ways to answer honestly but without revealing that he was simply a friend of the family and not really “the man of the household.” He talked with the salesman about how the teenage daughter of the home was always on the phone with her friends, which was true. He went on to say how difficult this was to deal with her being on the phone so much and then asked the caller, “Do you have teenagers? Can you relate to what I’m talking about?” The salesman said he had just the plan for them!

When asked if they ever called long distance, TJ mentioned that they had relatives that lived in Florida and how those calls could go on for quite a long time. The salesman jumped on that and said he had a plan that would include unlimited long distance and would meet their needs. I don’t remember what the exact question from the salesman was, but TJ was finally not able to answer honestly without getting caught in his charades. There was a long pause from the salesman, and then he asked, “You’re really not Mr. ‘Smith,’ are you?” With a chuckle in his voice TJ replied, “No, I’m not.” “Are you eighteen?” “No, I’m not.” Finally the salesman, realizing how well he had been duped by TJ, started to laugh over the whole thing. TJ told the man that he was just a friend of the family and that Mr. “Smith” wasn’t home – but probably would not be interested in the phone plan anyway. I can still see TJ’s face as he related the story to us. He was grinning from ear to ear, loving the whole spoof, and just a bit proud of himself for fooling a very gullible salesman!

TJ’s humor is often simple but very, very funny. And, most of the time, it is well-timed. Just when you need a good laugh or need to have the tension of a rough situation broken, there is TJ with a one-liner, a goofy twist or perspective on whatever is happening, or just a silly response in one of his many voices. Sometimes you don’t want to laugh, and the harder you try to hold it back, the more he will bring it on. He always sees right through you at those moments, and that just encourages him to keep pushing the silliness.

Today TJ posted a video of some soldiers taking a break and having a little bit of fun with a goat. I don’t know if these are troops that TJ serves with in Kuwait. I don’t even know if this event happened in Kuwait. But, I do know that it is exactly the kind of thing that TJ would get involved in if he was around, and he would certainly enjoy the silliness and fun of the moment. (The video is attached below so that you can laugh along with him).

We miss TJ tremendously. When we experience things and times that just seem overwhelming to us, it is often these memories of his silliness that help pull us through. We will say to each other, “remember when TJ did …whatever?” Or, “remember how TJ would say …such-and-such?” And as our thoughts race back to those fun times, in our minds we hear his voice(s) and we see the twinkle in his eyes and the mischievous smile on his face, and, just as if he were here, we begin to laugh once again.

When I think of him being so far away, serving in Kuwait, and I combine that thought with these precious memories, I wonder, which service of his is being more effective? The one where he stands guard at the main gate, checking for bombs underneath incoming vehicles? Or is it the service of laughter that he brings to his fellow soldiers, using that gift of his to break tense moments, or to cheer someone up who is having a bad day?

I love this one-liner from the Old Testament Book of Proverbs, “Laughter does good, like medicine.” TJ has not only been gifted with a great sense of humor and an ability to make others laugh, but he also has the ability to administer it at just the right moment when it can do the most good - just like medicine.

Thank you for keeping us healthy, TJ! We love you, Pal! 

Ram vs. Soldier